Acceptable Reasons to Wake Up Your Parents in the Middle of the Night
You checked the closet and it wasn’t a monster, it was nine blue goblins. They play poker every Thursday night and they apologized for the noise.
Tag: Lists
List: Hip Hop Artist or Item Found in Our Pediatrician’s Office?
Lìllèbaby? Big Freedia? Baby Tear$? Is it a French rapper? Or a needlessly complicated baby carrier?
In This House, We Say Merry Christmas
When other people say, "Could you point me towards the restroom? Please hurry, I really have to go," we say, “Merry Christmas."
10 Things You Should Know Before You Go Back to Your Hometown for the Holidays
Your mom and I have been having some money issues, so we're hoping you don't mind sleeping in the basement. We've got a boarder now named Lorraine.
White Elephant Gift Exchange Power-Ups
3 - 5 Years: File a police report against the person who stole your gift. (Two reports allowed per game.)
Excerpts from the Support Group for Teachers Who Have Eaten Elmer’s Glue
"I figured it must be secretly tangy and delicious, like key lime pie yogurt. So, yeah, I tried it. I'm not proud of it, but I did."
20 Signs You May Be Dealing with Trick-or-Treaters Who Are a Little Too Old for This Shit
"Why, back in my day, we had to walk 50 miles through the snow just to get gruel and hardtack. Got any medical appliances?"