Remember, Oh Co-Eds, the College Campus Landscapers
They were the ones tasked with Edward Scissorhanding the bushes on the hill that greeted you.
Tag: Men
I Am the Orc from Your Favorite Movies
I played an orc in the Lord of the Ring movies. If you look closely, I am the grayish one with the teeth coming out in all directions from my face.
My Eulogy as Delivered by My Targeted Ads
Judging by how few followers he had, I probably knew him best.
Despite Advice in My 8th Grade Yearbook, I Did Not “Stay Kewl”
While I may have had a “GR8 Summer” and “hittin’ up the pool or sumthin'," I did not take your advice to be my authentic, off-the-hook self.
Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Lost
1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.
My Daily Routine as a Male Cyclist in a Big City
5:35PM: Turn down a one-way street going in the opposite direction. I read somewhere that street signs don't apply when you only have two wheels.
Shareholder Value Isn’t Everything, PR Strategy is Important Too
Henry Ford observed that it’s not enough to build a good car, you also need to give your workers a token pay raise to generate some good press.
Frequently Asked Questions About Revel Mopeds
Who's Approving All These People to Drive Electric Mopeds in New York in Less Than 15 Minutes? Steve!
What Your Favorite Comedian Says About You, A Straight White Man
Hannibal Buress: You learned what feminism is from "Broad City," and you’re not 100% on board with it yet.
How to Make Him Come So Hard He Turns into Al Pacino from “Scent of a Woman” and Yells “HOOAH!”
Next thing you know you’ll be tangoing in the sheets yelling “HOOAH!” like the blind retired army veteran Al Pacino won the Oscar for portraying.
The Late Capitalist Horror of Mary Shelley’s Franken-Frappuccino
It agitated its shimmery surface, and with a convulsive motion, sprang to life. “BEHOLD, I AM THE TYE-DIE FRAPPUCCINO,” it roared.
Can You Be Our Nanny?
Caring for children is one of life’s most rewarding jobs. Our nanny will need a sens…