Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Lost
1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.
Tag: Men
My Daily Routine as a Male Cyclist in a Big City
5:35PM: Turn down a one-way street going in the opposite direction. I read somewhere that street signs don't apply when you only have two wheels.
Shareholder Value Isn’t Everything, PR Strategy is Important Too
Henry Ford observed that it’s not enough to build a good car, you also need to give your workers a token pay raise to generate some good press.
Frequently Asked Questions About Revel Mopeds
Who's Approving All These People to Drive Electric Mopeds in New York in Less Than 15 Minutes? Steve!
What Your Favorite Comedian Says About You, A Straight White Man
Hannibal Buress: You learned what feminism is from "Broad City," and you’re not 100% on board with it yet.
How to Make Him Come So Hard He Turns into Al Pacino from “Scent of a Woman” and Yells “HOOAH!”
Next thing you know you’ll be tangoing in the sheets yelling “HOOAH!” like the blind retired army veteran Al Pacino won the Oscar for portraying.
The Late Capitalist Horror of Mary Shelley’s Franken-Frappuccino
It agitated its shimmery surface, and with a convulsive motion, sprang to life. “BEHOLD, I AM THE TYE-DIE FRAPPUCCINO,” it roared.
Can You Be Our Nanny?
Caring for children is one of life’s most rewarding jobs. Our nanny will need a sens…
What Satire Means to Me, a Straight, White, Cis Man
For me, satire is more than a literary genre. It’s the freedom to say whatever I want and not be accountable for any of it because “I’m just kidding.”
With These Latest Mass Shootings, We Condemn the Violent Influence of Princess Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario
Mario is the lust for violence incarnate wrapped in a disguise of respectability. Those green pipes you see are hardly plumbing simulators.
How to Plan Your Totally Jacked, DIY Vasectomy
1. Avoid the hospital. Doctors are for women, children, and Abercrombie & Fitch shoppers. You’re a man with capable hands and DIY spirit.
How to Absolutely and Utterly Bomb at an Open Mic
If you hear a man joke, “I’m a real feminist because I would never tell a woman to smile; I yell at them to frown,” then you’ve found the right crowd.