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Tag: Men

6:00 AM: VOICE AS WEAPON! Silence any interfering neighbor with necessary action.

Summer 312 AD: Constantine Wins and Finds Jesus: Beating your nemesis and then becoming sanctimonious about it? 312 AD was a classic WBS.

Congrats on your new academic article, though I should really be congratulating myself because the version of your I wrote in my head is much better.

After a big fight, he usually: A) Shotguns a Four Loko in a gas station parking lot B) Chugs a pint of Fireball on your front yard

As a dude who’s got a bachelor's in biz dev, a 2.6 GPA, and has read most of the first quarter of "Infinite Jest," this shouldn't be all that hard.

I Know What Hunts Youcalyptus Mint -- An incisive blend that weaves a piercing mint with a feisty eucalyptus connotation.

I did see you hiding (hard to miss the shape of my useless husband with his big dumb flip-flopped feet sticking out from behind the drapes).

Starting to feel claustrophobic? Great! That’s precisely how you should feel as you fake deliberate the fate of a human being.

The keyless key fob is another amazing tool, even though I constantly have to search the house because my dumb husband lost it again.

Umbrella guy controls his own narrative. Whatever secrets lie in wait within his collapsible shield, he’s not telling. His mystique is undeniable.

Very hard to get a hold of. / Rarely available but never disappears forever. / Covered in BBQ sauce.

Oak is a whitecoat-clad stranger who entices a ten-year-old (you) into his lab under the pretense of keeping you safe.