The Embarrassing Origin of the Douchiest Gym Word Ever
The barbwire tattoo around this douchebag's arm essentially screamed, "None of my shirts have sleeves and I punch walls when I get insecure about my small penis!"
Tag: Men
I Forced Jeff Sessions to Eat from a Trough, and Now He Thinks White People are Superior to Dogs
I recently forced Attorney General Jeff Sessions to eat from the same trough we use to feed our many dogs, and now he believes that white people are superior to their canine companions.
If I Was as Good at Writing Query Letters as I Am Picking Up Chicks at a Bar
I know you have people knocking down your door to have you read stuff. That's why I propose the opposite: I want to read my book to you. Would you like that, Susan?
Please Dispose of My Phone Number in the Correct Receptacle
If we slept together and haven't spoken in over two months, please throw my number in the trash. Otherwise, please refer to this guide for appropriate actions.
How to Drive Like a Total Badass
When you think of a 1994 Dodge Neon, the first word that comes to mind is probably "raw power," right? Well that's exactly how this guy drove his: raw and powerfully.
10 Really Insensitive Things You Should Never Say to People
Thank you for being so open and honest about your breakup. It sounds like there were many complicated factors in your previous relationship. So, are you ready to start sucking my dick yet?
“Do You Have Condoms?”
Did I hear her correctly? There's no way she just asked me if I have condoms on a first Tinder date, right? Could it possibly be going this well?
5 INCREDIBLE Fashion Tips From Your Dad
You gotta have two belts: a formal one for funerals and weddings, and an everyday belt, no fewer than five years old, and TOTALLY SHOWING ITS AGE.
6 Venmo Requests to Send a Guy After a First Date
Amount: $40 Message: "Marketing fees associated with me blogging about this date." Rationale: He’s a weirdo, and weirdos need to be blogged about.
Guys, Here’s What Your Dating Profile Should Really Look Like
A brutally honest portrait of the man you may or may not actually want to date. Warning: includes thoughts on masturbation.
A Shit So Big You Need to Call Your Mom
We’ve all been there, sitting on the toilet, ass bleeding, thinking, “Why me? What the hell did I do/eat to deserve this?”
Now Let Me Be Clear, I Don’t Let Just Anyone Suck Me Off
I have standards, and I hold myself in high regard when it comes to the ethics of who's going to spit shine my three wood.