Why I’ve Always Been a Bloomberg Supporter Since He Started Paying Me $6,000 a Month
Look at my new MacBook Pro, which was purchased with the Bloombucks Mike sends me simply for writing stuff like “Mike knows how to get things done.”
Tag: Men
A Statement from One of the Tennis Balls on Harvey Weinstein’s Walker
Well, there was a court in my future, just not the one I had in mind.
The Biden 2020 Nevada Pizza Party Is Going Down in Flames
He's targeting young people voting in their first elections, but we have to convince him that “Virgin Voters for Biden” is not how we want to brand.
Space Force Wants You!
The lightweight uniforms of Space Force feature “Drip-Nip Technology©" that can resist water, whether it’s a splashdown or an unexpected “swirly."
Not to Play Devil’s Advocate but Here Is a Factually Incorrect Point
What was I saying? Oh, when you were talking about racism, I agree with that. Well, sort of. I mean I agree that racism used to exist, which is bad.
How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Really Your Boyfriend, Or a Stray Cat That Followed You in from Outside
Does he sleep between 16-20 hours a day? Does he curl up in a cute little ball in a perfect patch of sunlight to catch some ZZZs?
I Deserve to Be PTA President Even Though I Spent Our Entire Budget on a Magic Globe
The Globe Master pulled a tiny globe the size of a McIntosh apple from under his top hat and asked if I wanted to “go for a spin.”
White Male Startup Seeking Diverse Board Member for IPO
Whatever kind of minority you are, it would be helpful if you could be very visible about your minority status, at least in company photos.
Things I Learned Watching the Impeachment Trial
The whole proceeding would benefit from Bachelor-style confessionals. “I don’t care if I was rude. Lindsey has been a bitch to me all day.”
Where in the Hell Did Alan Dershowitz Get His Ideas?
“Article II Looks Good On You” (The Journal of Bizarre Constitutional Arguments, December 2012)
You Really Need to Get Box Seats for This Production in Order to Survive It
Admittedly, we were shocked when we noticed people who didn't spring for box seats were drowning below us.
It’s Me, Female Action Protagonist, Here to Solve Sexism
My backstory is abuse, the type doesn’t matter. Bullies, a family member, a boyfriend who is so overwhelmingly not in my league.