I’m Shuttering My Professional Kidnap for Ransom Operation Due to Rising Inflation
Our whole supply chain is wrecked: the price of a getaway car is sky high and gas costs for said car are now at an astronomical level.
Tag: Money
It Is I, the Toddler Who Values Financial Literacy Due to NFTs
I was telling the other toddlers about how if they ever plan to retire, they’ll need real dough, not Play-Doh.
Dear Landlord: I Cannot Be Held Responsible for the Coyote-Shaped Hole in the Wall
In this instance, the coyote was blasted through said wall following a violent explosion of his own devising.
Hey Bellyacher, Your Doctor Wants Us to Experiment on You in This New Clinical Trial!
Over at MEGOPharma we thought, why not repurpose this stuff to make some money?
Words and Phrases Banned from the U.S. Mint Staff Email Where Employees Print $38 Million a Day for $40,000 a Year
Torture, salivating, aroused. Every second, a sheet of currency worth the amount of my student loans passes me.
I Know Times Are Tough, So I’m Generously Reducing the Rent for the Crawlspace Under My House
Ope, watch your head there. Cam likes to go in feet-first, but I prefer lying on my side and sliding in with my hands like a walrus.
“The Game of Average Joe” for PS5 Walkthrough
If your “Stubbornness” and “Performative Masculinity” traits are below a combined twelve, Joe will hire a CPA and the level should be a cakewalk.
We’re Coming for Your Ill-Begotten Gains, Oligarchs!
We’re thinking of them, we’re discussing them, we’re writing them down, and yes, we will almost certainly be imposing them!
You All Know Nothing About My Perfectly Normal Relationship!
Well, I bet you all felt pretty stupid a month later when we got divorced. You all are just wrong time after time.
An Updated Tax Write-Off Worksheet, by the Nosiest Employee at the IRS
Did you receive Venmo payments from your ex (Handle @MattDereklol46) AFTER you broke up on July 23, 2021?
It’s Time to Rethink Our Rubber Chickens
Our rubber chickens—and indeed our entire portfolio of goofs and gags—have lost their context. Dare I say, they are no longer funny.
A List of Numbers Lower than My Monthly Student Loan Payment
5: Percentage of my college tuition covered by the inaugural Just a Taste of Hope Ayn Rand Memorial Scholarship.