Money | Page 11 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

Our rubber chickens—and indeed our entire portfolio of goofs and gags—have lost their context. Dare I say, they are no longer funny.

5: Percentage of my college tuition covered by the inaugural Just a Taste of Hope Ayn Rand Memorial Scholarship.

So wait, I can’t meet with you/speak to you/copulate with you without a loyalty card? Unfortunately not!

You only made $200 this week, yet you STILL let your friends drag you here?

Patients need to smash that so my bosses can track the popularity of this service, which will result in more financial support from our advertisers.

Instead of throwing your funds away on selfish pursuits, this new program ensures your precious headcanon stays intact.

They say your education is the one thing nobody can take away from you, but I implore you to do just that.

@JayGatsby: If getting rich off #Bitcoin is bootlegging then lock me up, old sport.

It might look like I have a pretty good gig, but don’t you think this is kind of fucked up?

You have family wealth and a car that turns into a plane, whereas I am $73,000 in debt with a degree in Applied Puzzles from Gotham University.

Here in Human Resources, we are consistently e-applauding each and every one of our hard-working, self-sacrificing rockstars.

If you ate all that, we’re astonished you are alive to read this notice. Your arteries must be as hard as bricks.