I Am Actually Made of Money and My Existence Is Hell
You have six-pack abs? I have six-dollar abs. It’s six dollar bills.
Tag: Money
Updates to “The Game of Life”
The Gig options are: package deliverer, meal deliverer, startup online pharmacy deliverer, driver, and graphic designer (Masters’ Degree preferred).
Welcome “Vogue” to This Mansion That I Own!
I love how the natural light comes through the house. It gives whoever wants to break in a little sneak peek of what they’re missing you know?
Lesser Known But No Less Eponymous Ways Charles Ponzi Invented to Defraud People
A Ponzian Slip: This is when you misspeak because you are thinking more about swindling the person than the substance of the conversation.
A Day in the Life of a Sales Team’s Gong
I knew the moment Brad's Gucci loafer crossed the threshold of the antique store, that my time had run out.
I Am the Sticky Brown Kitchen Cabinets and All the Other Bad Choices Landlords Make with Their Rental Properties
Not only are my kitchen cabinets sticky and brown, but they contain condos for giant cockroaches who never pay HOA dues.
Uncle Sam Wants YOU to Auction Off a Meme to Pay for Your Gallbladder Removal
I’m here to tell you that for your upcoming, serious, life-threatening gallbladder removal surgery, you’re on your own, kiddo.
It’s Time to End Unemployment Benefits and Put In an Honest Day’s Work at the Rainforest Cafe
Think of all the times you said, "I wish I could provide for my family by working somewhere that played realistic thunderstorm sound effects every 17 minutes."
I’m Not Panicking, I’m Just Buying Up All the Gas Because I’m the Most Important Person on Earth
You might think I’m completely oblivious to the concept of shared social norms and values, and the fact is—you’re right.
Financial Planning for the Jigsaw Killer
Three tricycles, $170.00? What does a man need with three tricycles? I’ve never once seen him exercise!
All of the Worst People in Your Life Are Now Bitcoin Millionaires
Roy was always trying to make a quick buck. He had all the best schemes in high school, and he also never had any money when the bill came.
Advice to Bill Gates from One Divorced Man to Another
If you're like me, I imagine Melinda blindsided you with some out-of-no-where comment about how you’re “constantly projecting yourself onto other people.”