Money | Page 19 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

Subscription to the Nonrefundable Security Deposit Wine of the Month Club – Let them drown their sorrows with Funk Band Bordeaux or Bouquet of Rosé.

I tried swing trading, but I guess I misunderstood what that meant, because the cops got called the second I showed up at the playground.

I am in the wrong house. Where are the 17 pieces of paper asking me to vote Jackie F to help save the environment?

"When was the last time you worked?" Well, technically, as the Messiah, I am always working. But as a carpenter, I worked about three months ago.

My role is basically the same as that of a principal except I don’t know how to run a school and I own 15% of its graduates’ earnings in perpetuity.

I was last seen breaking into Madison Square Garden and jamming out to Blueprint where I fell asleep with a bleezie and burnt the building down.

Can you introduce me to any shadowy figures who run the government here?

Fund your retirement account - The best time to start investing is when you’re born. The second best time is when you’re completely potty-trained.

Liquidity: How many glasses of wine Mommy will need before she can help with fifth grade math.

I call my contraption "Four Score and Seven Thrills Ago: Honest Abe’s Adventures in American Aviation." I look forward to hearing from you!

In 1960 at our Annual Goat Blood-A-Palooza & Family Fun Day, we saw a vision of you, the chosen one. We’ve been trying to sabotage you ever since.

The minute you opted for the Pomegranate Margarita, gave your credit card to your "date," and said, "this round's on me," you entered my domain.