Trying to Network at an Orgy
Can you introduce me to any shadowy figures who run the government here?
Tag: Money
11 Money Moves Every Six-Year-Old Needs to Make Today
Fund your retirement account - The best time to start investing is when you’re born. The second best time is when you’re completely potty-trained.
17 Financial Terms Redefined for COVID Times
Liquidity: How many glasses of wine Mommy will need before she can help with fifth grade math.
A Correspondence Between an Enterprising Engineer and the Chicago World’s Fair Commission of 1893
I call my contraption "Four Score and Seven Thrills Ago: Honest Abe’s Adventures in American Aviation." I look forward to hearing from you!
We, the Deep State, Concede That All Your Conspiracy Theories Are True
In 1960 at our Annual Goat Blood-A-Palooza & Family Fun Day, we saw a vision of you, the chosen one. We’ve been trying to sabotage you ever since.
I Am Your Third-Party Vendor, and I Will Fulfill All Your Needs
The minute you opted for the Pomegranate Margarita, gave your credit card to your "date," and said, "this round's on me," you entered my domain.
Memo to Staff: It’s the Apocalypse, But That Doesn’t Mean It’s the End of the World
Tragic for sure. Indeed, many of you have asked what impact the end of the world will have on your 401(k) match.
I’ll Hold the Torch During This Treasure Hunt Because I’m Thoughtful
Before we go any further down this musty tunnel hunting for the Lost Amulet of Christopher Columbus, let's establish something: I'm Torch Guy.
Yes, There Is an Active Serial Killer Living in Your Building and Yes, We Are Still Raising Your Rent
Let's not let a few small incidents of homicide overshadow the fact we recently installed washer-dryers in every single apartment.
I’m Entitled to Excellent Customer Service on Labor Day
Our great nation was built on the backs of people just like me: MBAs who got their jobs through their dad’s business connections.
Honest Answers to Burning Questions Non-Writers Ask Writers
Can you babysit my child or pick up my packages since you're home? What a perfect opportunity to procrastinate and help a neighbor for zero dollars.
Your State’s Simple, Straightforward, and Easy-to-Understand Unemployment Benefits Questionnaire
1. Did you work? Answer YES if you worked during the week, engaged in emotional labor, or if you sat up in and/or got out of bed.