Money | Page 24 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

DO invest in companies exploring alternative energy, such as General Electric (GE), Chevron (CVX), and my cousin’s cannabis farm, WEEDENERGY.

We accept many forms of currency, including gold bars, silver pesos, and buried treasure, provided it is accompanied by a map.

After “FROM:” on the name tags of all wedding gifts / Embroidered on all weighted blankets / Baked into the crust of all apple pies

It's critical that our employees can think outside of the box, accept a payment that comes from inside a box, while also living in a box.

Those schemes you see online always rely on poor saps buying whatever vitamin powder or skin cream you’re hawking. Ridiculous, right?

We have been keeping your loan “sheltered in place” so that it grows at its 12% compounded rate.

I was not leaving my house, both to avoid getting infected with COVID-19 and to avoid running into Joey “Iron Fists” Cachatolli.

Zoinks! Accuweather.com doesn’t want to rain on your parade, but we need that juicy, juicy marketing money to keep powering these weather puns.

5. You ever just sit and think about how you talk too much? 6. Be someone’s reason for not committing murder today.

Health Benefits: You go to the nurse and it's free! She gives you lollipop when you leave and 6 pats on back for good job not crying over bill.

I scrolled through Twitter and saw a few Forrest Gump references. Why? And then the storm hit: A text from my mom, “Tom Hanks has coronavirus.”

We are adjusting our policy of requiring sick employees to come into work so we can laugh at them for being frail and weak.