A Letter of Appreciation for “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers
People will call you a monster, and in a way, they’ll be correct: you are a monster---a monster fucking hit.
Tag: Money
I Would Donate but I Don’t Think My $20 Million Can Make a Difference in This Election
They say every million counts but I just feel like another face in the crowd among all these millionaire donors.
FAQ for Newly Hired CEOs Still Learning to Be Assholes
Should I comment on my employees' ethnicity? We recommend a "don't ask don't tell" policy. Everyone should be white in your eyes.
I’m Handsome Harry, the Instagram Influencer, and I Just Want to Be a Normal Dog
It was never my life goal to be famous like Sir Charles Barkley, the French Bulldog. If I had my way, I’d be like Butch, the mutt who lives next door.
Planning on Eating the Rich? Here Are 15 Creative Recipes
Panko-Crusted Billionaire with a Brown Sugar Sweet Potato Souffle / Blueberry Muffins with Dark Truths about the Upper Class Chocolate Chips
Exam for the New Government-Issued License to Be an Asshole
3. How often are you an asshole? I would say whenever I’m conscious, but I can be fairly verbally abusive in my dreams.
Join Our Pirate Ship as an Unpaid Pirate Intern, and Gain Valuable Experience on the High Seas!
Be there gold? Nay. Be there jewels? Nay. Be there the 2-3 years of experience required of ye to land an entry-level buccaneering position? Aye.
My Personal Statement Applying to Your Grad Program Because I’m 24 and Not Sure What Else to Do
What I love about education is that it provides the unique opportunity to do my homework instead of having to consider any future plans.
I Am Your Coffee Shop Realtor
My business cards are written on giant chalkboards with a topical joke that changes when I feel like it, and I send all receipts to your email.
I’m Proud of Forcing My Father out of Retirement to Support My Career as an Influencer
I first had to ask for money after I blew most of our family’s inheritance on boat trips with Kylie Jenner’s second cousin.
Why I’ve Always Been a Bloomberg Supporter Since He Started Paying Me $6,000 a Month
Look at my new MacBook Pro, which was purchased with the Bloombucks Mike sends me simply for writing stuff like “Mike knows how to get things done.”
Retirement Planning Tips for the Climate Change Apocalypse
Try investing some of your funds in a planet that isn’t being pushed to the brink of environmental catastrophe.