I Take You to Be My Instagram Husband
We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome brand managers, heads of corporate sponsorships, and marketing coordinators.
Tag: Money
Now That He’s Gone, I Can Share the Truth of How My Father, Mr. Peanut, Killed My Mother
Growing up, he was a hard legume to love. He showed no emotion, said very little, and was constantly traveling for work.
13 Things I, a 33-Year-Old Man with Zero Interest in Football, Find More Exciting to Watch at a Super Bowl Party Than the Game
Janice and Mark’s whisper-fights about their upcoming incomplete wedding plans. They’ve been engaged for 7 years now.
Pitchfork Reviews People in My Life
A Woman I Went On Two Great, Early-In-The-Game Dates With: An incredible, staggeringly original human being who just appeared on the dating scene. 9.3
I, John Bolton, Will Happily Testify about My White House Erotic Fantasy Novela
Mary Anne is a hawkish White House staffer in her late-20s who drafts war plans with Iran which never quite climax, but her sexual plans always do.
Baby Yoda Running for the DNC, I Am
Linked directly to Climate Change, immigration is. Displaced by imperialist wars like your culture, many orphans have.
Empowering Affirmations for Strength While Doing Laundry at a Public Laundromat
“I am grateful for my talents.” How quickly can you fold laundry before getting hit on? Did someone steal your detergent?
You Really Need to Get Box Seats for This Production in Order to Survive It
Admittedly, we were shocked when we noticed people who didn't spring for box seats were drowning below us.
This Pyramid Building Operation Is Anything but a Pyramid Scheme
If we work together, we can achieve anything! Specifically, a huge, triangular crypt for Pharaoh, through which he will transcend into the afterlife.
We Can’t Open Until Someone Comes Up with a Bon Mot for the Sidewalk Chalkboard
If we don’t come up with an ingenious sign, no one will ever come in, meaning no one will share post shots of our killer foam art.
I May Be a Big Nobody, but My Vote Counts Just as Much as Yours, Mary-Kate (Or Ashley) Olsen
When we step into that partitioned desk and face that confusing-as-hell democracy apparatus, we’re ALL America’s Sweethearts.
New Streaming Services to Look Forward to in 2020
Pfizer Video: $6/month, $720/month without insurance / Costco Flix: $17/month, but only if you agree to stream all the movies together at once