Money | Page 41 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

Every morning, I wake up and eat a motivational quote for breakfast sprinkled with positive-flavored hemp seeds.

You must place him ever so sweetly on a bed of cotton balls if you’re going to be transporting him to be booked for his many, many financial crimes.

Conquistadors have an old saying: discovering a place makes you that place’s Mom/Dad. Why should Florida’s Dad have to pay $14 for his favorite meal?

Yet another advantage she has over me and my perpetually degrading corporeal being that needs stupid shit like food and water and exercise and love.

When do I get paid again? What is your payroll schedule? Do you get paid weekly, biweekly, monthly? How close are you to your next paycheck?

"Pinebrook Elementary Concert featuring Miss Doherty’s 3rd-grade choir singing a 2-hour rendition of The Pirates of Penzance" [THC: 34%]

Which teen heartthrob is the spitting image of someone you went to high school with but you can’t place? He definitely looks like someone… but who?

A quick moment to describe my surroundings: Chateau Gentleman is a leathery affair. Everything you could possibly imagine could be embroidered is so.

Fetch this bar of chocolate that would serve two or three of my adoring subjects, but which I will eat entirely by mine own self, as is my right.

Now, believe me, no one respects #MeToo more than Good Ol’ Michael-Joe Moderate. I respect it so much that I’ll say it’s gone too far.

I wish there were “other solutions.” But heavy drinking’s already been taken as a solution to politics.

“You should smile more” – To remedy my resting bitch face, I am going to pull my lips apart with duct tape so that I will have a permanent smile.