Money | Page 41 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.

You're always freelancing from home, which means your cat has to watch you and dart away when you notice. So there goes her whole day.

3) What did you get Aunt Peggy for Christmas? a. A big box of steering clear. b. Well, she would have wanted me to get myself something nice.

I doubt it would cook up an abundance of hate to overpower the abundance of love. It would be so not like the universe to fuck with abundance.

I felt for the first time that I was seeing myself through someone else's eyes, but it turns out it was because I was seeing my twin brother.

None of my fellow parishioners have invited me to partake in a communal sexual ritual to awaken the dead, or place a hex on targeted politicians.

DON'T: Try bullet journaling. Look, you can't even keep up with a pre-crafted planner, you think creating your own will go any better?

You checked the closet and it wasn’t a monster, it was nine blue goblins. They play poker every Thursday night and they apologized for the noise.

Visual Processing (1/20th of a Second): Jeff Bezos will register a piece of visual information, sending it up the ocular pathway to the brain.

You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.

Your innocence is adorable. Yes! Crumple it, toss that ball of misery across the room. Release your righteous fury!

BARBER: It is customary to tip your barber $15 for each person who complimented your haircut and then immediately had sex with you.