Wrapping Paper is the Dark Lord’s Curse on the Holiday Season
Your innocence is adorable. Yes! Crumple it, toss that ball of misery across the room. Release your righteous fury!
Tag: Money
Holiday Season Tipping Etiquette For 2018
BARBER: It is customary to tip your barber $15 for each person who complimented your haircut and then immediately had sex with you.
Five People on Your Holiday Shopping List Who Would Want My Copy of “Timesplitters 2”
Your Rabbi: The Talmud teaches many things, but it doesn’t teach how to destroy the attack helicopter on the roof of the “Oblask Dam” level.
“Eat, Pray, Love” Your Festivus
“If you could clear out all the space in your mind, you’d have a doorway.” Enter the airing of grievances!
Seasonal Treats to Destroy Your Enemies, From the Belvedere Family Cookbook
Peppermint Razor Bark (p. 194): The easiest and most economical recipe, this sweet is great for either a time-sensitive soirée or a mass sabotage.
A Skeptic’s Guide to an “Enlightening” Family Christmas
6. Hold Your Family’s Feet to the Fires of Capitalism --- Santa Claus? A soulless creation of Coca-Cola to help them hock a sugary beverage.
5 Tastefully Decorated Tiny Homes That Also Happen to Be Haunted
Drive down a country road, past a bucolic house with spectral corpses in the trees, and you’ll see this beautiful tiny home: 500 square feet of bliss.
Donald Trump’s Criterion Top 10
"The Royal Tenenbaums" is a movie about people who have so much money but also no money, which I promise you, folks, I promise you that's possible.
The Trump Administration’s Official Recommendations for Hanukkah Parties
“Sufganiyot” might be a traditional treat, but it’s hard to pronounce, and makes you seem like you’re plotting an overthrow of American jelly donuts.
When Did Purges Get So Corporate?
Every year there’s an escalation of more and more extreme Purge spectacles. And honest, hard-working citizens just can’t keep up.
New World Order Seeking Enthusiastic Intern (Spring 2019)
We are looking for an energetic, passionate intern approximately 80-83 years old with an ability to learn and grow with the organization.
Chapter One of My Autobiography, Written in Advance to Free Up Time When I’m Extremely Busy
How did I make this unexpected transformation from amateur writer to entrepreneur-scholar-travel blogger-Harlem Globetrotter?