Are You at Thanksgiving Dinner, or Are You a Character in the “Star Wars” Prequels?
-Despite it being fairly obvious, your pregnant friend’s wife won’t say who the father of her baby is.
Tag: Movies and TV
So Your Mom’s Dating Pete Davidson
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
Are You a Shopper at IKEA or a Character in a Wes Anderson Film?
- The staff is smarmy and vaguely European. - There’s a child smoking a cigarette.
Teenage Squid Games
Going forward, we’ll tap into the pre-made horror of adolescence. A time the healthiest among you have repressed.
Classic Hollywood-Inspired Sex Moves That Don’t Involve Sex
The Fade-to-Black: Slowly dim the lights while you engage in suggestive banter, such as, “Hello there, big boy.” That’s all.
Post-Halloween Report: My Gabba Ghoul Costume Was a Flop
"This is gonna be huge," I whispered to myself, flattening the various cold cuts dangling from my body.
Naturally Tidy Woman, or Trapped in a Wes Anderson Film?
Does free will exist, and did I employ it when purchasing this quirky pair of binoculars? Do I even like binoculars?
It’s Time to Punish Freddy Krueger by Taking Away His Hat
It’s ironic that Freddy Krueger’s initials are FK because the guy should be Fucking Kancelled.
Zillow Listing for the House from “The Blair Witch Project”
Admire the local artisanship on display, particularly the humanoid stick figures bound in twine looming overhead in the trees.
I Am the Menacing Voiceover from a Horror Movie Trailer and I’m Just Trying to Order a Pizza
MINDLESS EATING MACHINES, TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. FOR MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE. For $2 more the pizzas come with extra cheese.
Trivia for “The Shining” (1980)
It’s funny if you sync up scenes of Danny riding his tricycle with the theme song from Naked Gun.
I’m an English Teacher in a Horror Movie, and These Budget Cuts Are Really Starting to Hurt
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.