Post-Halloween Report: My Gabba Ghoul Costume Was a Flop
"This is gonna be huge," I whispered to myself, flattening the various cold cuts dangling from my body.
Tag: Movies and TV
Naturally Tidy Woman, or Trapped in a Wes Anderson Film?
Does free will exist, and did I employ it when purchasing this quirky pair of binoculars? Do I even like binoculars?
It’s Time to Punish Freddy Krueger by Taking Away His Hat
It’s ironic that Freddy Krueger’s initials are FK because the guy should be Fucking Kancelled.
Zillow Listing for the House from “The Blair Witch Project”
Admire the local artisanship on display, particularly the humanoid stick figures bound in twine looming overhead in the trees.
I Am the Menacing Voiceover from a Horror Movie Trailer and I’m Just Trying to Order a Pizza
MINDLESS EATING MACHINES, TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. FOR MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE. For $2 more the pizzas come with extra cheese.
Trivia for “The Shining” (1980)
It’s funny if you sync up scenes of Danny riding his tricycle with the theme song from Naked Gun.
I’m an English Teacher in a Horror Movie, and These Budget Cuts Are Really Starting to Hurt
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
Nine Fall Season Shows That Will Make You Wonder “Is My Therapist Pitching Our Sessions to Hulu?”
Can We Talk in My Office Later? Office drama based on a seemingly innocent Friday morning email that potentially holds a much darker meaning.
A Personal Email from Netflix: We Are Suspending Your Streaming Access to “Gilmore Girls,” Effective Immediately
A Gilmore Girls Crisis Intervention Special Projects Team performed a full investigative report of your viewing history and internet browser history.
90 Years Later, Universal’s “Frankenstein” Remains a Poignant Tale of How Fucked Up It Would Be If There Was a Guy Whose Head Was Perfectly Flat on Top
Even today, when I see his head, my mind goes wild with possibilities, envisioning all the dirty dishes that I could set down upon it.
My Favorite Shirt Has Leatherface Giving You the Finger
Suit and tie? Business casual? I think the Leatherface on my t-shirt will let you know what I think about them.
James Bond Gets Sober on Zoom
Isolated and idle, alcohol became my only sidekick and I didn’t care if it was shaken or stirred as long as it was in my mouth.