Classic Movie Quotes, Updated for the Pandemic
“Keep your friends close---actually, keep them distant, and your enemies distant too. Stay pretty much six feet away from everyone.”
Tag: Movies and TV
Due to the Pandemic, Our Hook-Handed Killers Will Now Be Terrorizing Teens Remotely
We will no longer attend and slaughter gatherings of more than 500 people. We will be sanitizing our hooks daily, and of course after each murder.
My Entirely Intellectual and Not at All Emotional Reasons for Watching “The Bachelor”
I’m interested in analyzing the importance of “opening up” via “crying” and how this plays into our fantasies of ideal womanhood.
Questions You, My Spouse, Are Likely to Have about My Brave Decision to Start a Podcast
"For real, what will it cost?" Well, it's not a cost per se, but there is will be a very small upfront investment… just to start.
We at Disney Couldn’t Be Prouder to Show Our Commitment to Representation with 9 More Easily-Missable LGBTQ Characters
This moment in the film may not be noticeable, but you bet your ass we’ll talk about it on the press tour like we threw the first brick at Stonewall!
Woke Reboots for Classic Movies
T2: Non-Judgmental Acceptance Day / The Empire Respects the Will of the Populace / 10 Things I Respectfully Disapprove of About You
What I Learned about Time Management from Binge-Watching Serial Killer Documentaries
Stay on Schedule - If you're a morning person, kill in the morning. If you're a night person, kill at night. Find a schedule and stick to it.
A Statement from One of the Tennis Balls on Harvey Weinstein’s Walker
Well, there was a court in my future, just not the one I had in mind.
The Management of the Lakeview Plaza 8-Plex Requests Your Feedback (And Apologizes in Advance for the Toenails)
On a scale of 1 to 10, what the hell are these spots on our seats? Cigarette burns? The management just had these seats reupholstered!
An Extensive Guide to Every Remote Control in Our House
The small remote controls the volume and the tall remote controls the channels. We think that one is under the sink.
The Oscars Are About Quality, Not Diversity, and Also Scarlett Johansson Should Have Every Award
Despite ongoing #OscarsSoWhite controversy, it’s important to remember that the Oscars are, as Stephen King pointed out, about quality, not diversity.
2020 Social Media Oscar Winners
Best Direct Message: Brent Stanko for 1:26am Christmas eve message to ex-girlfriend: “Saw you’re home, would love to reconnect!!”