Oh No, I’m Trapped in a Very Special Episode!
Maybe I should wait for Maisy to realize that anorexia is bad. Maybe I should start a hobby. Maybe I should just crack jokes like usual.
Tag: Movies and TV
DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing
A great place to stay on those days when you're in a bad mood and just "wanna kill everybody on the whole fucking planet."
Ways to Straight Up Chill with Your Homeboy, Even Though He’s Always Chasing a Cartoon Bird
At a certain point, your homeboy Wile E. must realize there's more to life than trying to murder some bird. Like chilling on a perfect afternoon.
A Young Movie’s Prayer: “Please Let Me Come to a Theater Near You”
Please, please, please, Movie Gods, if you're out there, please let me come to a theater near you. It's all I've wanted since I was a wee script.
I’m an Uber Customer Service Associate and I’ve Been on the Phone with Clint Eastwood for 3 Years
I saw my own reflection on the screen of my computer and I was reminded of the oath I took when I accepted this job at Uber.
To the Oscar Statue That Made Me Deeply Uncomfortable During Guillermo Del Toro’s Acceptance Speech
Dear Statue, I believe unequivocally that you and I now share some cosmic bond after we locked eyes during Del Toro's acceptance speech.
I’ve Talked to the Aliens and They Say We’re Fucked
Contrary to popular opinion, the aliens said even doomsday preppers won't make it that far in an apocalypse. They were explicit on this.
Welcome to Amtrak’s “Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club”
The first rule of Amtrak's "Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club" is: Kindly shut the fuck up about everything. Enjoy bare-knuckle chef combat.
Addressing the Allegations That I Left the Sleepover Early Because I was Afraid of the Movie
Why, if I supposedly love my mom so much, did I tell everyone, "My mom is making me come home because I have a stomachache, I hate her so much"?
A Pitch for My TV Show “Finding Bigfoot and Also My Biological Parents If We Have Time”
The show aims to capture clear and undoctored footage of Bigfoot. Also, if we run into my biological parents along the way, that'd be pretty neat, too.
The Top Ten “The Only Black Dude” Black Dudes in Movies
Celebrating the memory of those black guys who went it alone, fighting against oppression, while also fighting werewolf cops or whatever.
My Bhutanese Drama Students Want to Recreate “Son of the Mask” and I Have No Idea What to Do
How can I adapt "Son of the Mask" into a 10-minute play with a bunch of Bhutanese 13-year-olds who speak limited English?