If I Spend 3-4 Hours Writing and Editing This Article, Do You Think She Will Have Texted Me Back By Then?
What Michelle needs to realize is that I’m not here to waste my time. But until she texts back, that's exactly what I'll be doing.
Tag: Music
A Tepid Guide to Starting a Band
Starting a band takes a lot of time, practice, and self-loathing. You truly need to hate yourself to get into the state of mind necessary for writing profound, echoing lyrics.
Updated List of Bands That Have Declined to Perform at Trump’s Inauguration
Houston-based rockers Glennwood Johnson and His Exploding Knees, once described by Rolling Stone as "…a musical act," has declined due to moral concerns.
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (Not That You Care, Grandpa)
The undertones are more disturbing than a simple Christmas accident: Grandpa and the rest of the family took out Grandma deliberately.
A Cuisinart Griddler® Panini Gyro Recipe Set to Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
Celebrate the 25th Anniversary of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with this Panini Gyro recipe set to the tune.
The Legend of Metallica
Don't worry, Metallica fans, the future of Metallica music is safe in the hands of the Metallica clones. Isn't that right, Bob Rock?
The Crab Apples Are Disrupting Music to Its Pretentious Core
David Peterson, The Crab Apples iconic lead singer, is a walking, talking contradiction. He is ignoring all his influences and pursing a psychedelic folksy revolution.
Five Made-Up Indie Bands You’ll Never Hear This Year
They're new, they're obscure, they don't even exist. But that doesn't stop me from sharing these five bands and their upcoming albums with you.
Guitar Shop Man Doesn’t Want You to Buy a Guitar
Why does Guitar Shop Man seem like he's on a mission to thwart you from buying a new guitar? Because he's scared you'll become a pro and crowd the space even more.
I’m an Obnoxious White Hipster Who Never Really Liked Prince, Now What?
I fit every criteria for a stereotypical Prince lover: I'm white, and I'm an obnoxious hipster. But I can't help shrugging and letting out a pithy "meh."
Hey Now, You’re an All Star, Get Your Helmet On, Go Fight
Hey, now, that's the call now, get your mask on, it's gas. Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast. It's just chlorine and bleach.
The 7 Most Important Cosplays
Some of these cosplays are "sexy," some of them are damned impressive, but all of them are just cool to me. And that's what makes this list important.