Five Made-Up Indie Bands You’ll Never Hear This Year
They're new, they're obscure, they don't even exist. But that doesn't stop me from sharing these five bands and their upcoming albums with you.
Tag: Music
Guitar Shop Man Doesn’t Want You to Buy a Guitar
Why does Guitar Shop Man seem like he's on a mission to thwart you from buying a new guitar? Because he's scared you'll become a pro and crowd the space even more.
I’m an Obnoxious White Hipster Who Never Really Liked Prince, Now What?
I fit every criteria for a stereotypical Prince lover: I'm white, and I'm an obnoxious hipster. But I can't help shrugging and letting out a pithy "meh."
Hey Now, You’re an All Star, Get Your Helmet On, Go Fight
Hey, now, that's the call now, get your mask on, it's gas. Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast. It's just chlorine and bleach.
The 7 Most Important Cosplays
Some of these cosplays are "sexy," some of them are damned impressive, but all of them are just cool to me. And that's what makes this list important.
Which Member of Willliamsburg’s Autoharp Ensemble “Zither and Yon” is Fucking My Wife?
If the state of my pillow covers means anything, this douchebag uses a ton of mustache wax. That narrows it down to eleven out of the fifteen band members.
Cat Hate Metal
I’m Washing My Butt! I’m Washing My Balls! Dogs are Gay! Humans can stiff my Litterbox! Cat Scratch Feces! Give you Brain Damage! I Hate Fish! I Hate Birds!
Rising Indie Band Seeking New Bandmate Who Interviews Well
We need a new bandmate who can lead an interview. WE CAN'T DO IT!! MUSICAL TALENT IS NOT REQUIRED TO JOIN THIS BAND. In fact, please ONLY be charming.
The Donald Trump Rap
"I will build a great wall - nobody builds walls better than me." Take a look around, "I am the least racist person there is." I simply think black people shouldn't have kids.
Hip Hop Tips for Tax Season
Taxes can be complicated, but most people don't realize there are tons of benefits they can receive that H&R Block won't touch with a wooden stick! Haha! Hova!
An Honest Spotify Commercial Interlude
$9.99 a month for practically infinite music at your fingertips is a luxury YOU JUST CAN'T AFFORD. Now, tell me, what do you really see in so much Pitbull?
Drunk Playlist Generator (Just Add Vodka)
I've configured my playlist according to wordplay generated from wildly-named music artists, creating one continuous musical mash-up matrix. Just add more vodka.