Perfect Songs for 12 Scenarios When You’re Shaving Parmesan over a Plate of Fettuccine Alfredo and Waiting for the Patron to Say “When”
When it’s clear the patron isn’t saying “when” anytime soon and your mind starts to wander.
Tag: Music
Aging Rock Star Performance Reinstatement Application
If with a group, how many surviving members are there? Of those who are still living, how many look like Keith Richards?
I’m “John-At-The-Bar” and Whatever Billy Joel May Say, I Always Followed Corporate Policy
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
Announcement: I Am Getting into Classical Music
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
Phil Collins Portmanteaus
Phork: This is an eating utensil composed of a traditional fork and a Phil Collins action figure.
Christmas Songs Detailing the Sordid Saga of Santa’s Elfskin Boots
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing) Hush! Santa will hear our plotting, He’s gone mad, brain is rotting. We should organize a coup, Before he makes new boots from you.
Your Slack Wrapped 2021 Is Here!
You spent 49 hours listening to our ear-piercing message alert sound…
New Rules to Turn Our Annual Whamageddon Game Up a Notch This Year!
If you hear Wham!’s “Last Christmas” at Trader Joe’s, stop shopping immediately and guzzle a 32 oz. carton of eggnog. Post #Whamanogageddon!
The 10 Commandments (Taylor’s Version)
2. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not throw shade on my name or thy will face the wrath of hundreds of vengeful Swifites online.
24 Things You Did Not Know About the Go-Go’s
11. Most of the Go-Go’s songs were originally about Belinda Carlisle’s appetizers.
Let’s Talk About Why We All Hate the Beatles
My kids like the Beatles. How am I supposed to criticize them for their garbage taste if they are also brought to tears by "Happiness is a Warm Gun?"
Who Said It? Kurt Cobain, Kurt Vonnegut, or Kurt, My Libertarian College Roommate
- “I feel stupid and contagious.” - "Masks are stupid it's not even that contagious."