I, Shredder, Am Happy About This Plastic Straw Ban; Now I Can Be the Number One Threat to Turtles Again
Just thinking about it gets me so angry. It makes me want to explicitly slice Raphael instead of the usual implicit slicing I do.
Tag: New York
NYC Apartment Listings, Decoded
Just a short walk to the train: The nearest subway stop is a mile away and trains don’t stop there on weekends.
I, Zippy the Jetpack Boy, Have Been Hired to Fix Your Subway System!
No one knows more about getting from point A to point B with lethal efficiency than Zippy the Jetpack Boy -- that this is bound to rub off on the job.
Amy Vanderbilt’s Dos and Don’ts of Impeachment Etiquette
Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.
An Open Letter to the Guy in the Subway Playing the “Rocky” Theme on the Melodica as I Carried Two Bags of Groceries
One minute I was thinking, did I need to buy a bag of tangelos? But the next minute I was hearing the uplifting strains of your enchanting song.
New York Times Restaurant Review: Big Terry’s Truck
The atmosphere of Big Terry’s truck was rustic Americana at its finest, from the American Flag seat covers to the Springsteen on the radio.
Thank You for Your Interest in This Unattainable Writing Position!
Based out of our offices located inside the spire of One World Trade Center, and we’d love to work with YOU (until the next round of layoffs).
Frequently Asked Questions About Revel Mopeds
Who's Approving All These People to Drive Electric Mopeds in New York in Less Than 15 Minutes? Steve!
Ice Cream Flavors That Accurately Represent a New York Summer
Beach Dreams Unfulfilled Tropical Cherry – A fruity favorite to remind you that you’re too funemployed to escape or go to Hawaii this summer.
Ken Cuccinelli Rejects “The New Colossus”
“And her name, Mother of Exiles” --- Where did you get this name from? The current working title of the statue is “Water Hello Person.”
How to Get to Places Other Than Carnegie Hall
How to get to Music Hall of Williamsburg: Practice, check into rehab for heroin addiction, practice some more.
How “Reservoir Dogs” Helped Me Overcome the Generational Trauma of My Snitch Family
The men and women in my family took to snitching. My grandfather was known as the Irish Elvis because he would sing to the cops about anything.