We are the Early Gentrifiers of This Neighborhood and We are Pissed!
Before you arrived, there was a vibrant community of immigrants from a country in Eastern Europe whose name is escaping me at the moment.
Before you arrived, there was a vibrant community of immigrants from a country in Eastern Europe whose name is escaping me at the moment.
Don't cry in a work bathroom---a co-worker or boss might see your shoes, hear you crying, and think you poop too hard.
At a certain point, your homeboy Wile E. must realize there's more to life than trying to murder some bird. Like chilling on a perfect afternoon.
Relying solely on their wits and instincts, these brave kids overcame incredible odds to survive life-threatening situations.
I applaud you, as you were comfortable, people complimented you, and you made me appear like I had my shit together, which I did not.
I thought long and hard about what kind of birthday message to send you. Then I waited for what seemed like decades to receive your reply.
I sit in your closet collecting dust, regretting that my only purpose was to fit your head and no one else's. What ever happened to loyalty?
Hey, guess what? You just lost another friend on Facebook. And it wasn't an accidental click or a computer glitch either - it was you.
Did you hear my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Applebaum passed away? She was only 67. Really makes you appreciate that Halloween mug, doesn't it?
The three most frequent commercials running during Days of Our Lives, and their insulting implications for you, the lazy sack of shit on the sofa.
Sue grew into her breasts last year and is now popular with the boys, but she is self-identifying as Asian which is also confusing the boys.
Here we are, only weeks into the part of my life when I remembered who Tom Petty was, and he was taken from me. Or should I say, that I was taken from him.