What If We Didn’t Fix the Little Mistakes and Mispellings in Articles?
If we accept imperfection in music and movies, then why not in literature? Do actors start over a play if they miss a line?
Tag: Observations
Kids These Days: Can We Go Back to Non-Murdery Anger and Revenge Techniques?
Kids need to learn that the old school tactics of not killing a person, but killing their will to live, is much safer and rewarding.
No Filter: A-riel Talk with Disney’s Gayest Princess
Hi, I'm Ariel. You may know me from The Little Mermaid or your local lesbian dive bar. Call me a rainbow fish, because I'm part of your world.
The Vacuum Scares My Dog, and Damnit It Scares Me Too
I think it’s the two “U’s” when I type "vacuum" that turns my knuckles white and makes the hairs on my hands stand up. Oh, and the noise.
Dear X Games, Allow Me to Injure Myself for You
Here's the problem with your skateboarders: they make it look too easy. Let me attempt to skateboard and faceplant all over the place, for the ratings.
Why My Tennis Instructor Abandoned Me
Sometimes two people stop talking to each other, and there isn't even a big argument at the end. They just avoid each other, forever.
Dear God, I’m Not Going to Kiss Your Ass in this Letter
Although You and your Son continue to get rave reviews, you're nothing but a supernatural dog and pony show. A metaphysical scam of Biblical proportions.
No Surprise, You Just Screwed Up Your Starbucks Order Again
Crap! Crap! Crap! Brain, you idiot, what did you just do? You don't want soymilk. Why did you say that? Ok, you can fix this, THINK...
Look, You’re Pivoting on My Narrative
It's as if to be part of the intelligentsia you have to say "look" before making your point. Look at what? Look where? You're a jerk.
What’s With All the Junkies on Children’s Bikes?
Has anyone else noticed the new phenomenon of junkies on bikes? Usually children's bicycles that no one over age 12 could be comfortably riding.
The Beauty of Bad Breath
You've discovered it's not so unpleasant and disturbing to wake up in the middle of the night with last night's dinner still percolating in your mouth.
To Be Published Upon Gene Shalit’s Passing
The esteemed critic consistently sported a trademark Shalitfro/moustache/spectacles combo, and was a staple figure on the TODAY show.