The Real Cowboy Days were Horrible
So you wish you'd been a cowboy huh? You think riding around on horses was simple? HELL NO. Neither was dying from just about everything possible.
Tag: Observations
Business Networking: The Road to Nowhere
Thirty years after the deluge of college advice to "network network network," I conclude that networking is overrated, intractable, and something to be avoided.
The Next Generation of Curse Words
Gone are the days when "fuck" was socially shocking. My generation has even started to use these words as sentence filler, as if they were the new "uh" or "um."
Golf is for Retards
I don't understand the concept of the handicap in golf. The more you suck, the more strokes you can deduct? What if I can't play at all? Do I automatically win?
Why the Beach Blows
You step into the ocean and wonder what insensitive, sociopathic creatures are swimming around your feet. They can all do you harm, and they probably will.
The Unavoidable Sexual Plight of Man: Would I Bang Her?
Anytime a man gets a good look at a woman he's never seen before, there is an involuntary question he is forced to ask himself: Would I bang her?
How Bad is the Entourage Movie? THIIIIIS BAD
Entourage movie is so bad, it makes Citizen Kane look like a much better Citizen Kane. I can only hope this isn’t what entertainment has become.
Reaffirming My Faith in Humanity
Sometimes I wonder why people could be so depressed. The world we live in is so amazing and beautiful, and we should all be thankful that we're in it.
The SNL and Game of Thrones Controversies are Sucking the Life Out of TV
The problem with these controversies is that eventually everything will be played safe, no boundaries will be pushed, and old models that previously worked will be rehashed.
Infrequently Answered Questions
Why do you cry? Because your eyes are still constantly producing tears after that one guy you met as a freshman in college.
When You Regret 95% of Everything You Have Ever Said
I don’t know why I'm so plagued by regrets from my vocal history. It seems dreadfully unfair, and I'm not sure what I've done to deserve these demons.
Will Your Death Amount to a Joke?
Native Americans believe we have two spirits inside of the same body. Which may explain why my Aunt Carol was such indecisive old bitch.