The Volcano That LSD Built
After a 20-hour plus binge of cocaine, MDMA, and nitrous, I took a drop of acid. And right there and then I decided that I would build an active volcano on the British Isle.
After a 20-hour plus binge of cocaine, MDMA, and nitrous, I took a drop of acid. And right there and then I decided that I would build an active volcano on the British Isle.
The combination of instant gratification and illusion of power is what makes Fantasy Football the cyber-Viagra that it is. You are the coach, the GM, and the cheerleader.
From wedding rehearsals, to cookouts, to sporting events, you've clothed my legs creaseless and made me appear super-intelligent. But now your time is over.
I don't just look at my dog with fury because that would be cliché; rather, I tend to give her a sad, betrayed look, with a hint of intense bloody vengeance.
Well done, Bill Phillips, Men's Health editor-in-chief, you did it. You figured out the perfect combination of repetitive nonsense that keeps me coming back for more.
BuzzFeed use the beaten-horse style of nostalgic prose so predictably and effectively, that we've already written an excerpt of what you'll see in 2034.
It's not that I DON'T want to have sex, and it's not that I DO want to have sex, it's that I simply don't give a fuck about getting fucked. And yet I feel like I should.
If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid, it's natural. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life and you can't do that.
Before Buzzfeed, we had no idea which Destiny's Child character we were, or which European city we should live in. Now we've entered an era of absolute self-discovery.
That we can discover new ways to express ourselves and communicate is something that should never be underestimated, but should also be respected.
From sports-themed haircut places, to restaurants and TV shows that highlight and exploit douchery, the perceived image of what guys like is ridiculously exaggerated.
The average IQ in England is 65, a shocking 30 points below the rest of Europe. Its people are fed a diet of hyper-violence, sex, football hooliganism, and soap operas.