Why is All Man-Themed Stuff Also Douche-Themed?
From sports-themed haircut places, to restaurants and TV shows that highlight and exploit douchery, the perceived image of what guys like is ridiculously exaggerated.
Tag: Observations
8 Years a Slave: An Homage to England
The average IQ in England is 65, a shocking 30 points below the rest of Europe. Its people are fed a diet of hyper-violence, sex, football hooliganism, and soap operas.
If There’s an Airport God, He’ll Seat the Hot Girl Next to You on the Plane
If all the planets were to align, this airport-hot girl might actually be sitting right next to you. And she would be single. And she might jerk you off under the tray table.
Why You’re a Terrible Person for Complaining About New NFL Safety Rules
Whiny, self-involved fans complain that new NFL rule changes make the game "not as fun anymore." Yeah, and we all used to LOVE smoking on airplanes too.
A Stoner’s Translation to the Benefits of Vaporizing
I get asked a lot why I prefer using a vaporizer, because I'm high as fuck all the time, and people assume there must some solid stoner logic.
The Asian and The Boyfriend
The Asian and the boyfriend don't ever mix. They were born as separate as two koalas with latent chlamydia, and they shall remain so for all eternity.
Fuck Technology
Technology has turned us into a society of downward-gazing, slack-jawed voyeurs. There's a good chance that as we continue to evolve, our elbows will fuse.
The Pooping You Didn’t Know About in Classic Literature
Literary criticism is an always-changing field of inquiry, and today, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the new and exciting field of Fecal Criticism.
“Those Aren’t My Jarred Feces”
Now that tampons aren't allowed in the Texas Senate, here is how I imagine the conversation went when a bag inspector lifted a jar of poo from a citizen's purse.
The Logistics of the High School Dick Pic
I don’t consider myself the type of guy who sends a picture of his dick to a girl, but somehow my friend Danny convinced me otherwise. I should've thought more first.
A Winner’s Guide to Acknowledging Losers
Sure you might be think that like DJ Khaled, all you do is win, win, win no matter what, but you have you ever considered the butterfly effect of all your victories?
Justifications for My Irrational Fear of Doing Laundry
I am horrified of a hidden red sock turning all my white stuff pink. The chemistry behind what causes this to happen completely eludes me, and that is scary.