Your Most Likely Roommate Scenarios
There are only so many chances that you'll like your roommate in any sense of the word "like," and those chances are like, zero.
Tag: Observations
That Girl is a Liar
She lies a lot, but not the normal lies about age, weight, and whatever so-called "ladies" lie about. No, she's in a whole 'nother category.
What to Write When You Can’t Write
What I realized about my self-imposed inability to write is that of all the reasons why I am unable to write can be blamed on my excellent procrastination skills.
Halfway Not Ready for a New Roommate
Ah, August. The breezes blowing, children playing, freedom from overbearing parents, and the lovely task of commencing awkward roommate conversations.
Otis, The Almost Perfect Boyfriend
My boyfriend Otis is basically the perfect boyfriend. Except he refuses to participate in any form of social media, or any type of kissing.
Spiders are Ruining My Life
It's been another year living with severe arachnophobia. After an in-class incident with a spider, I realized that they are now personally fucking with my education.
On Bridesmaids and Walking with Asians
The other day I asked my Asian friend if I could be her secret bridesmaid, the same way that a traditionally ethnic ninja would ask a friend to be a secret bridesmaid.
On the Dangers of Immortality
With the advent of thousands of miraculous new medicines, the danger of immortality is very real and growing faster than ever.
The Swedish Meatball: My Deathbed ’95 Volvo
The odometer is broken, the spoiler is broken, the sunroof is broken... okay, everything's broken except this car's will to live.
The Dubious Legacy of Super Mario
Some would say Mario is more influential than Jesus and Paul McCartney combined. The Italian plumber who looks suspiciously Mexican has gone thru many phases.
The Wrong People in All the Wrong Places
Put the right people in the right places. We can't all just keep taking it up the ass and pretend that we like it. Some of us have to stand up for what we believe in.
Go Ahead, Call Me a Fair Weather Fan
This is for all you "I'm a better fan than you are because I was a fan when the team sucked" people: get over yourselves.