Gym Etiquette for the Non-Meathead
Some people might accuse you of wasting your time in the gym. There are rules to follow, after all. Rules set by bigger men... and scary women.
Tag: Observations
I’m on a Diet (Against Everything I Stand For)
There are three things I really hate in life: making unprotected left hand turns, Dr. Meredith Grey, and diets. But I guess I have to do all three at some point.
Ode to the Shower Beer
You can pour pilsner into your mouth at whatever angle you want, and nobody from society is gonna judge you. Nobody is watching. Nobody cares.
Political Correctness: A Gentleman’s Discussion on How You Can Go Fuck Yourself
I'm not offended every time someone says "Christmas" to me just because that's not my thing. I'm the type of atheist who doesn't give a shit, and you shouldn't either.
I’ll Have a Whiskey on the Breasts, Please
Are you into rum, whiskey, or vodka? What about after it's been poured over the breasts of super models? You don't have any more questions, right?
The Pros and Cons of My Immigrant, Married Status
My wife is American and I'm an immigrant from Eastern Europe. Most of you will think that immigrants in this country have got it going on. I used to think so, too.
The Consequences of Being Single in February
February makes us remember the range of cruelty and suffering that the world (and especially Americans) put a certain minority through. Cheer up, single people.
We’re All Fucked, ‘Cause You Know, Robots
The REAL robots are super-sleek job-killing bastards, designed by humans to slowly wage a war of attrition on the working class until nothing is left but hyper-rich human robot owners.
You Don’t Even Know Why You Like Game of Thrones
I cannot sum up Game of Thrones as anything other than, "A bunch of people, mostly assholes, who just stand around talking to each other while wearing fur."
Idiots of the Future, Today
There's a lot of cool new stuff in the world, but it still feels like the same place. And that's mainly because it's still populated with the same jackasses and idiots.
Admit It, You and Your Ex are Totally Over
I don't know how you met your significant other, or how you could just munch on Sarah Lee cookies all day, but if you found this link, your ex is telling you it's over.
Butts’n’Betsians: Massachusetts White Trash
Indigenous to the Bay State and surrounding areas, the Butts'n'Betsians are a subspecies of the widespread and more common whitetrashius americanus.