Trophies Mean You Were One of the Cool Kids
All the dusty, gold-plated, tomboy-shaped trophies that define how cool I used to be are, sadly, probably sitting on the shelves of poor children who didn't earn them.
Tag: Observations
Working Out is Hard to Do
On my list of the most difficult challenges I have ever faced, getting back in shape after an eight-month hiatus from the gym would rank way up there.
Five Ways to Beat the Excruciating Summer Heat
Thank god summer will be over in a couple of months. It feels like Earth has a GPS system, and someone programmed its destination to be the center of the sun.
Trader Slaves and Crashing Cars
Is it even possible to stock lettuce for eight straight hours? At Trader Slaves, where the customers eat like rabbits, apparently it is.
Obesity: A Big Problem (See What I Did There?)
It's time for a look at the health issue that's caused the Grim Reaper to hire a tow truck: obesity. Fat people face tough lives, but they also bring great joy to society.
This is What Happened to the Nice Guys
Rarely are women prepared to hear the answer to the long pondered question, 'What happened to the nice guys?' Allow me to answer and finally clarify.
My Mother’s Guide to Moving
Lesson #5: Once progress has been made, bring any momentum to a halt with breaks, even though you've only been standing for 23 mins and accomplished nothing in that short time.
I Have Emerged From the Asshole of the Education System
I completed my atrociously long tenure at Worthing High School, and now, it's time for a fair and balanced assessment, aka an unnecessarily offensive rant.
The Craigslist Jobs Dump
Craigslist: the most trusted, reliable source of employment opportunities available today, according to Fortune and Harvard Business Review. Or not.
Which is More Fake, Soccer Injuries or Porno Orgasms?
Imagine how stupid you would look if you fell on the ground flailing and crying, accusing a guy 20 meters away from you of foul play. The same goes for sex.
The Newlywed Game: Taking Inventory
<p>In the obligatory pre-marital counseling, a couple learns about what they will fight over once the deed is done. The list really comes as no surprise to anyone, but is still worth noting. Being halfway through year one, I figured this was a good time to see how we are stacking up.</p><p><strong><font size="4">1. Money</font></strong></p>
The Merits of a Good Wingman
They're hard to find, quality wingmen. Despite this, you're probably expecting too much from them. A wingman's mission isn't to get you laid; that's your job.