A Girl’s Breast Friends
Ladies, in just a few short paragraphs, you will learn the tools necessary for utilizing your boobs to enhance every aspect of your life.
Tag: Observations
Gatorade: The Blood, Sweat, Etc. of America
There are only four types of people who drink Gatorade. Half are douchebags, half are athletes, and the rest are just really, really fucking thirsty.
Liars, and Tigers, and Whores, OH MY!
I have a confession to make: I, too, slept with Tiger Woods. What are we up to now, 13 mistresses? Is anyone counting anymore?
Explaining Wawa, The Amazing Little Sub Shop
Where I come from back in the Northeast there is a chain of amazing little sub shops called Wawa. Explaining what it is can be a difficult conversation.
Just Because It’s on the Internet Doesn’t Mean It’s Not Illegal
People do things on the internet that they normally wouldn't do in reality. Some of these things are illegal. But we get away with it, so whateva.
Chick-Rizzle McLovin’: The Importance of Going Down on Your Girl
As excited as guys get about blowjobs, they somehow forget that girls like oral too. So, guys, please stay tuned for this very important PSA.
To the Apathetic Asshole Who Cut My Hair
I know you are miserable in this job, and I know you get what you pay for, but if I shell out $13, I expect a halfway decent haircut.
Fat Chick Syndrome
Handling FCS sufferers (also known as Big Bitch Syndrome) requires one of two things: great patience or a chubby-chasing friend.
I Pledge Allegiance, To the NRA
A tough look at what inspires such a blind allegiance to the NRA, a group that should really be better at seeing straight.
Everybody Knows One: The Mooch, The Stoner and The Competitive Friend
Everyone has the same group of friends, and like it or not you’ll know these people for years to come. This series aims to explore
The Automotive Woman Theory
A girl who likes sports is like buying a fully loaded car. But if you're buying a Geo Metro, it's still a Geo Metro and you're still pretty freakin' lame.
Abstinence ’til Marriage: Christians are Fucked
Now that we have birth control, the whole 'saving yourself til marriage' thing is completely out of touch. Sorry, Christians, we're having all kinds of sex.