Mommy, When I Grow Up I Want to be a Slut
In college, inner beauty clearly has as much use as a book on how to read, at least as far as getting laid goes. Enter the slut theory.
Tag: Observations
They Call Her Snow White Because She’s a Coke Slut
Since we were little, Disney has been shoving the "nice guy, true love" lie down our throats. But no more.
Total Crocs: Suze Orman, Other People’s Pets, and Old People
When it comes down to it, I am a heinous individual. Suze Orman, other people's pets, and old people on ego trips cannot be tolerated.
Six Degrees of Facebook
It all starts with one "friend add" on Facebook, and it leads to breakups, suicide, betrayal, and despair. Next time think before you log on.
An Open Letter to My Little Hell on Earth
Dear Summer Internship, thank you for giving me something to do during the daytime. Masturbation was getting old. That said, I have to address a few issues since I started working here...
I Wish I Was Funny
I'm not funny or sexy, so I never have sex, nor make people laugh, let alone both simultaneously.
I Do Not Understand Regret
I will be the first to admit it: I get drunk or drugged out, and make bad decisions. The difference between is, I don’t experience regret like you.
Up Close and Internet Personals
Loneliness is a big moneymaker, and singles websites are cashing in on it with fake vaginas.
The NameScreener: Your Screenname Analyzed
Thousands of screennames are analyzed, rated, and reviewed for humor and popularity. Anyone can submit their screenname to be reviewed and posted online!
The Golden Hour of Stragglin’
Last call came and your last resort hookup went, now what? Join the drunken herd in the streets and see if you can catch the skinniest buffalo.
What’s Your Excuse for Missing Class?
When missing class becomes a problem, you're going to need some creative excuses. Try emailing these with a straight face.
Valentine’s Day Compromise
The toughest, most complicated holiday of the year exemplifies the emotional dichotomy between men and women. Solutions anyone?