When Children Try to Write Adult Fiction
"What is your job?" Wilmott said. "I work in an office," said Gorge. "My boss keeps turtles in a tank. Sometimes I have to feed them."
Tag: Office
Just Because We Spotted Each Other at a Sex Party Doesn’t Mean I Can’t Still Be Your Accountant
Maybe you’re freaked out to think of accountants as sexual creatures. You want us always hunched over ledgers, never over your sweet, pliable body.
I’m the Tennis Ball Attached to an Old Man’s Walker
At the very least, I thought I’d live out my days being volleyed over some net in a park by people who considered themselves moderate exercisers.
It’s Hard Being a Barbarian Hero in Downtown Manhattan
“Your plight reached me on LinkedIn: the posting spoke of your lamentation, of your need for a Client Data and Management Information Co-Ordinator!”
The Simple and Effective No Cookies or Wine Diet
The only exception to the wine rule is for post-work networking drinks. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad about drinking wine!
Do You Have the Cognitive Fortitude to Be a Cashier at Crazy Dave’s Wieners?
What is the correct spelling of the fermented cabbage that sometimes goes on hotdogs? Sauerkraut, Sourcrowt, Serrkreet, Soorkroot, or Kimchi?
Passive-Aggressive Co-Worker or Your Domestic Shorthair?
No matter how sincerely you attempt to connect with them, they seem to live by the philosophy "treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen."
This Year’s Agency Holiday Party Theme: Transparency!
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.
An Obituary Writer Attempts to Win His Wife Back
Marilyn Brewster was surrounded by loved ones including her beautiful, perfect daughter Deborah who I could make so happy if she’d return my calls.
Quotes from Arthur Miller’s “Death of an Influencer”
"Pop, I have no platform! I have no platform, Pop! Can't you understand?"
Other Movies Based on Hyper-Literal Interpretations of ’80s Pop Songs
"Karma Chameleon": A gay man falls in love with a faithless reptile who comes and goes, comes and goes.
I’m the Troll Living Under This Bridge and Only I Know Your Destiny Is to Be an Accountant
Being an accountant isn’t all about money, eating tuna sandwiches in the breakroom, and getting picked last for the company dodgeball team.