Office | Page 16 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

Upper management has been attempting to quell frustration by saying, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” Well, I for one think that You should not.

If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.

It’s the only way to hack job market, make killer money, and convince our Robot Overlords to let you keep your original brain!

We do not want to mar the beauty, purity, and good vibes of the Federation Gala with the ugliness of politics.

I literally feel their struggles, taste their fears, and nibble their dreams as the virile light in their eyes becomes my own.

Once your laptop reboots, please use the following case-sensitive password to log in: MyNameIsToddAndImAFuckingIdiot

The Emperor’s New Groove: Was the world clamoring for a remake of this 2000 sort-of hit that was almost universally praised as “fine?”

Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.

Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.

You can’t read half the ingredients and might be suffocating a baby penguin with excess sodium monofluorophosphate, but at least you’re minty fresh.

Quitticisim (kwit-??siz?m): The paralyzing decision to either delete or refresh Twitter every thirty seconds.

Let me wipe off the shaving cream and stow my kit bag where the emergency phone used to be.