8 Ways We Can Make Impeachment Hearings More Pow! Bang! Boom!
The members dance in like Ellen: Everyone loves Ellen! She’s the kind of complacent we can all get behind!
Tag: Office
Welcome Aboard C.U.L.T. Incorporated!
We want our employees to look virtually identical so if one disappears (I mean "calls out") we can just sub someone else into that role.
Could You Make This Novel a Bit Blacker?
Instead of Jerrick Glitterblade, how about Jamal Kingston? A little regional flavor would add specificity to his character.
To: The Lord RE: Your Mysterious Ways
Upper management has been attempting to quell frustration by saying, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” Well, I for one think that You should not.
I Am Leaving My Job to Become a Cowboy Following the Success of My Halloween Costume
If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.
You Have to Learn Coding! It’s the Only Way to Survive the Job Market and the Wrath of Our Robot Overlords
It’s the only way to hack job market, make killer money, and convince our Robot Overlords to let you keep your original brain!
An Asteroid Threatens the Federation and We Must Take Action—But Only after Tonight’s Gala
We do not want to mar the beauty, purity, and good vibes of the Federation Gala with the ugliness of politics.
I’m Not an Out-Of-Touch Billionaire Politician, I Interact with Young People Every Day When I Feast on Their Souls for Energy
I literally feel their struggles, taste their fears, and nibble their dreams as the virile light in their eyes becomes my own.
Our New Corporate Cybersecurity Rollout Protects Your Computer by Rendering It Completely Inaccessible to You
Once your laptop reboots, please use the following case-sensitive password to log in: MyNameIsToddAndImAFuckingIdiot
Upcoming Disney Live-Action Remakes
The Emperor’s New Groove: Was the world clamoring for a remake of this 2000 sort-of hit that was almost universally praised as “fine?”
Amy Vanderbilt’s Dos and Don’ts of Impeachment Etiquette
Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.
Non-Apology Apologies for Corporate Ne’er-Do-Wells
Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.