Office | Page 17 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

You can’t read half the ingredients and might be suffocating a baby penguin with excess sodium monofluorophosphate, but at least you’re minty fresh.

Quitticisim (kwit-??siz?m): The paralyzing decision to either delete or refresh Twitter every thirty seconds.

Let me wipe off the shaving cream and stow my kit bag where the emergency phone used to be.

It's not that I’m afraid of commitment—I just don’t want to start something that’s not right for me.

“We’re number one!” I cheer. The team wheels around. “No,” they respond. “YOU’RE number one.” Then they offer to pay off all of my debt.

Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.

Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.

Oh cool...he’s lurking that model’s Instagram again. You do know I can summon the full works of Shakespeare, right?

Have any special skills? Call those “in your wheelhouse”--it shows you love baseball but are also serious. Don't have special skills? Doesn’t matter.

Just touching base with you on this month’s miracles. As you know, miracles are one of our key performance indicators this quarter.

Based out of our offices located inside the spire of One World Trade Center, and we’d love to work with YOU (until the next round of layoffs).

Yes, as of last Tuesday when Giselle dumped me, I decided to become a candidate too.