Office | Page 17 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

It's not that I’m afraid of commitment—I just don’t want to start something that’s not right for me.

“We’re number one!” I cheer. The team wheels around. “No,” they respond. “YOU’RE number one.” Then they offer to pay off all of my debt.

Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.

Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.

Oh cool...he’s lurking that model’s Instagram again. You do know I can summon the full works of Shakespeare, right?

Have any special skills? Call those “in your wheelhouse”--it shows you love baseball but are also serious. Don't have special skills? Doesn’t matter.

Just touching base with you on this month’s miracles. As you know, miracles are one of our key performance indicators this quarter.

Based out of our offices located inside the spire of One World Trade Center, and we’d love to work with YOU (until the next round of layoffs).

Yes, as of last Tuesday when Giselle dumped me, I decided to become a candidate too.

Did you know that there's a hunger epidemic going on? And more importantly, did you know that the office switched to ordering from Fresh Direct?

Judging by how few followers he had, I probably knew him best.

5:35PM: Turn down a one-way street going in the opposite direction. I read somewhere that street signs don't apply when you only have two wheels.