Office | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

I just thought it would be fun to spice things up this time—literally in the case of that ominously bubbling aluminum tray at the end of the row!

“Thanks for taking the time to meet.” Alright, I see. I took the time to meet. I did you a favor, huh.

We are especially pleased to announce that one of our program participants was named one of “30 Under 30 Feet of Water.” (Best of luck, Bubbles!)

We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.

If you care deeply about results and have at least four buddies named Tyler, we can’t wait to meet you.

I end every email with “cheers.” My keys are on a carabiner attached to my belt. I call Easter “Zombie Jesus day.”

Please do not straddle the beast unless you have experience wielding crotch rockets of NASA caliber.

Although, if I’m honest, Amanda has horrible email etiquette. One time she shared her screen during a meeting and I saw 12,000 unread emails.

Your message may simply be too sophisticated to be understood by lower life forms.

70 ft: Screw it, I’m just going to wave. Social norms be damned! 65 ft: Shit, he’s definitely not looking at me.

- DIY ax throwing in the parking lot - Fish microwaving contest - Egging Janet in HR’s car (for charity)

In five years I hope I can stop dwelling on the time when I was sucked into the thick swamp ooze only to be rescued by a creature of the night.