Office | Page 20 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

Fauxpreneurs believe if you’re not on the ‘gram, you will never become a unicorn. Look for at least three pictures per day showing her “hustling."

I am dead-frozen inside, and this fleece vest is the only thing that holds my cold capitalist heart at a temperature resembling warm-blooded life.

Executive Producer: I don’t quite understand. What exactly is the “lone phoenix”? Are you talking about Sophie Turner’s character? Marketer: Hm?

How do you think the Andersons feel when I deliver their photos, and half of them are so overexposed that you can’t see the barn they’re leaning on?

Some other work perks include unlimited time off (as long as it's spent at a beach volleyball camp) and partial reimbursement for uniform fees.

This secret menu item is complicated, multi-layered, bold, and bitter: it’s perfect for the starving artist (because it’s got 12 grams of protein).

Lois has been distant ever since we found out my sperm could kill her. She keeps making snide comments about how Batman wouldn't have this problem.

There were signs: Marco Rubio found Mitch had recently searched for “sexy outraged citizens tear male politician to shreds video.”

Mother slapped me. She was a former NYPD detective, eighty-eight years old and in the early stages of dementia.

I bet firefighters loved it when the red priestess Melisandre lit thousands of Dothraki arakhs aflame. These days, people only care about fast fires.

"I don’t have any fancy degrees. I’ve never read Murakami. I’ve never read anything, actually. I can’t speak English and I’ve bitten people."

We care about your wellbeing because we don’t need your fat ass jacking up our healthcare costs.