Office | Page 22 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

I’m an Ewok, you idiot. Not a Wookiee. Do all intelligent, bipedal, brown, hairy non-humans look the same to you?

I made the brownies with one hand while reading for my ChickLits book club. Sleep is a societal construct! I think I’m starting to hallucinate.

I’ve been on the lookout for the swirling cloud of evil that must constantly follow you, and I keep my nose up to catch a stench of this wickedness.

Sanders graduated from Transylvania University with honors in Afro-Caribbean Studies, Women and Sexuality Studies, and Herbalism ‘n’ Spicesism.

You’ve never had a problem casually finding out where the end-of-week happy hour is before, but people now seem to be making plans in the bathroom.

We used to be doing all right financially, but we just blew our last 5 million dollars on a Superbowl ad during the most boring Superbowl in history.

You sat in silence for 18 minutes after finding out your new barber was from Long Island, voted for Trump, and has amazing ideas for your stand-up.

My dream came so close to fruition my senior year in college, when my roommate Jim and I started a “pop-thresh garage-inflected post-grunge” band.

"They love dirt" At first, it was sweet. "They really care about the Earth," you thought. But now you can't tear them away from the stuff.

You can’t even invite people over to your disgusting apartment? Jorge has a beautiful apartment and he doesn’t share it with four “artists.”

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The classic love story. It’s a famous… I want to say play? I’ve only seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Oh, Christian Bale, nominated for playing a 60-year-old man with a potbelly who only thinks about himself. Your father could have played that role.