Business Proposal: It’s Like MoviePass, But for *Throws Dart* Escape Rooms
We will target the *shuffles a deck of cards and flips a card* ace of diamonds to jack of clubs age bracket, which we'll say is 16-28 years old.
Tag: Office
Reviews of Office Scents
Inhale deeply, for you must use the communal microwave to reheat your leftover risotto, which will add another layer to the complex scent.
Introducing Jack Daniel’s Hotspots
Developed in our top-secret lab deep in the bedrock below our cave spring, each and every Jack Drone is crafted to exacting standards.
No More Snacks During Weekly Snacks Sales Review Meetings
We are thankful for your hard work and creativity. Your work is as yummy, crunchy, and delicious---just like our chips!
Introducing the Brand New White Privilege Tracker App
Earn points when you accidentally blow through a stop sign and understand that people of color could not laugh with the police officer about it.
My Statement on Sacha Baron Cohen Tricking Me Into Letting the Trojan Horse Into Troy
In character as “Yusef Frankfurter,” he told me that he wanted his next project to be about a very handsome and courageous mayor.
Minutes from a Board Meeting at the Keychain Factory
Board member Nelson suggested using melted metal from other vats to fill in the cracks of cracked vats. McQueen responded “That’s not how that works."
How to Make the Most of Your Mental Health Day
8:00 p.m. --- Lunchtime! Wait, since when was it 8 p.m.? Have you not eaten anything today? Don’t panic. There’s a sleeve of Oreos on the table.
Welcome to the Alphas Only Hedge Fund
I know you’re here because you read that Vice article that said our hedge fund is like the Wolf of Wall Street but with actual wolves. That’s true.
So You Wanted to Leave a Voicemail for Someone But They Picked Up the Phone
Drop your phone in the toilet: This makes you look cool, because every Millennial’s done it at least once in their aimless, self-serving lives.
Our Startup is Seeking a Full-Time Mortician
Are you the kind of person who carries a casket with a skip in their step? Have you shown enthusiasm for embalming roadkill since a young age?
My Inner Voice is a Fat Guy Named Steve
I want to do well, but every time I sit down to work, Steve makes me go on the internet and google “soccer stats” and “boobs” until the day is done.