Office | Page 28 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

8:00 p.m. --- Lunchtime! Wait, since when was it 8 p.m.? Have you not eaten anything today? Don’t panic. There’s a sleeve of Oreos on the table.

I know you’re here because you read that Vice article that said our hedge fund is like the Wolf of Wall Street but with actual wolves. That’s true.

Drop your phone in the toilet: This makes you look cool, because every Millennial’s done it at least once in their aimless, self-serving lives.

Are you the kind of person who carries a casket with a skip in their step? Have you shown enthusiasm for embalming roadkill since a young age?

I want to do well, but every time I sit down to work, Steve makes me go on the internet and google “soccer stats” and “boobs” until the day is done.

FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected] SUBJECT: RE: test "Exactly what are you notifying us of? Everyone please stop replying-all."

We also don't have a retirement plan because the majority of our employees only stay with us for 2-3 hours.

Your client wants to suck the bone marrow out of your firstborn. What do you do? A. Respectfully ask that he reconsiders.

Relationships are about one thing, and one thing only: affordable housing. Find someone who doesn’t smell too bad and lock it down.

I’d be willing to bet it takes dozens of muscles in the arms, legs, and torso to lift this soda machine off of my shattered body.

Do you think I’m a nice person? Do you think I’m full of rage? Crap, I’m turning my apology into a plea for validation. I hate when I do that.

Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.