I Now Have a Passion For My Job Thanks to the Home Brewing Station I Set Up in My Cubicle
Also, I’ve requisitioned the men’s room for my milling and mashing. I’m not going to be hauling raw grain up the stairs for each and every batch.
Tag: Office
Incredibly Rude Responses to Perfectly Reasonable Job Applications
Firstly, the phrase, “I know all the words to 'Space Oddity'” is not the best way to start off an application to NASA.
Top Places for Dudes to Cry
Don't cry in a work bathroom---a co-worker or boss might see your shoes, hear you crying, and think you poop too hard.
You’re God! How Will You Punish Jim Carrey?
Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.
Guy Fieri Resigns As Mayor of Flavortown
Apparently, my haters think I’m ‘off the hook’ but in a bad way, something I didn’t even know was possible.
Memorandum to Our DC Law Office RE: New Business
The "Gold-Gilt Family Plan," for multiple members of the same family that are involved in the same case.
What Am I Supposed to Do with a Ventriloquist Dummy That’s NOT Haunted?
After buying a creepy antique doll, I was extremely disappointed to find out that there is nothing supernatural lurking behind its dead eyes.
How H&R Cockblock Saved My Taxes and Stole My Woman
Somehow I just couldn't stay pissed off at frat guy. He was my tax wingman, even though he totally killed my self-esteem.
Jared Kushner Email: “Did Anyone Find a Pokémon Backpack in the Oval Office?”
Not only might this backpack contain documents related to the fake Russia investigation, but it also has sentimental value.
7 Bold Tips for Getting Over Your Post-Holiday Blues at All Costs
Exercising, befriending co-workers, and taking hostages are great ways to cheer yourself up in an otherwise dismal new year!
After Watching One Episode of “The Great British Baking Show,” I’m Ready to Judge the Break Room Bakes
Janet, your Rice Krispie Treats are a bit basic if I'm being honest. Still, it's a delightful biscuit that everyone in accounting should be proud of.
Shut Up and Retire Already
I hate Irv, my 66-year-old co-worker who's retiring at the end of the month. He's been gloating about it since I started working with him 7 years ago.