You’re God! How Will You Punish Jim Carrey?
Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.
Tag: Office
Guy Fieri Resigns As Mayor of Flavortown
Apparently, my haters think I’m ‘off the hook’ but in a bad way, something I didn’t even know was possible.
Memorandum to Our DC Law Office RE: New Business
The "Gold-Gilt Family Plan," for multiple members of the same family that are involved in the same case.
What Am I Supposed to Do with a Ventriloquist Dummy That’s NOT Haunted?
After buying a creepy antique doll, I was extremely disappointed to find out that there is nothing supernatural lurking behind its dead eyes.
How H&R Cockblock Saved My Taxes and Stole My Woman
Somehow I just couldn't stay pissed off at frat guy. He was my tax wingman, even though he totally killed my self-esteem.
Jared Kushner Email: “Did Anyone Find a Pokémon Backpack in the Oval Office?”
Not only might this backpack contain documents related to the fake Russia investigation, but it also has sentimental value.
7 Bold Tips for Getting Over Your Post-Holiday Blues at All Costs
Exercising, befriending co-workers, and taking hostages are great ways to cheer yourself up in an otherwise dismal new year!
After Watching One Episode of “The Great British Baking Show,” I’m Ready to Judge the Break Room Bakes
Janet, your Rice Krispie Treats are a bit basic if I'm being honest. Still, it's a delightful biscuit that everyone in accounting should be proud of.
Shut Up and Retire Already
I hate Irv, my 66-year-old co-worker who's retiring at the end of the month. He's been gloating about it since I started working with him 7 years ago.
The Donald J. Trump Presidential Library Yacht Puts All Others to Shame
More visitors than Reagan's! Fewer tears than Kennedy's! Less graffiti than Bush's! The Donald J. Trump Presidential library is legit on fleet.
How to Nail Your Next Job Interview Even Though the Return of Xwq, the Celestial Obliviator, is All You Can Think About
Project confident body language, even if your instinctive reaction to the Ashes cementing Xwq's control on your mind is to slouch and fidget.
3 Shocking Things I Learned Working at Home Depot
True story: An albino man named Moth operates shock collars behind the scenes, delivering painful volts if an employee comes within 25 feet of a customer.