Are You a Human Sending a Circle Back Email, or an Alien Making a Crop Circle?
Your message may simply be too sophisticated to be understood by lower life forms.
Tag: Office
An Internal Monologue as I Navigate My Office’s Open Floorplan
70 ft: Screw it, I’m just going to wave. Social norms be damned! 65 ft: Shit, he’s definitely not looking at me.
Team Building Activities HR Won’t Let Me Do for Some Reason
- DIY ax throwing in the parking lot - Fish microwaving contest - Egging Janet in HR’s car (for charity)
Easy Answers to Common Job Interview Questions for Anyone Who Was Saved by a Swamp Creature When They Were Nine
In five years I hope I can stop dwelling on the time when I was sucked into the thick swamp ooze only to be rescued by a creature of the night.
This Country Music Star Is Not Apologizing for Stealing Your Lunch from the Office Fridge
Trent Dribbly is a gale-force wind of fresh air with his unapologetic attitude about stealing leftover food from coworkers.
Where to Direct Your HR Issues at Our HR-Less Company
Work Anniversaries: See your manager for a token of our appreciation—a homemade coupon for one (1) weak handshake.
My Work Day, as Envisioned by the Billionaire CEO
Like our CEO wrote in his “Daily Wake-Up” email, all of our cubicles can be temples of productivity.
Would You Rather? Return to Office Edition
Would you rather spend 25% of your paycheck on Everlane’s "Sims 2 Fall/Winter ‘23 collection” or trompe l'oeil mascara onto your face with a free Zoom filter?
Why I, a 1960s Business Man Having an Affair, Believe Everyone Needs to Return to Office
Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.
Your Monthly Productivity Review
Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.
My Day as an Intern, as Imagined by My Exceedingly Optimistic Parents
12:30 PM, reads the Faberge Egg clock the CFO gifted me for having such a good PSAT score.
Signs That the Company You Work for Has Been Acquired by a Billionaire
In order to save space, your cubicle has been converted into two pyramidicles.