An Internal Monologue as I Navigate My Office’s Open Floorplan
70 ft: Screw it, I’m just going to wave. Social norms be damned! 65 ft: Shit, he’s definitely not looking at me.
Tag: Office
Team Building Activities HR Won’t Let Me Do for Some Reason
- DIY ax throwing in the parking lot - Fish microwaving contest - Egging Janet in HR’s car (for charity)
Easy Answers to Common Job Interview Questions for Anyone Who Was Saved by a Swamp Creature When They Were Nine
In five years I hope I can stop dwelling on the time when I was sucked into the thick swamp ooze only to be rescued by a creature of the night.
This Country Music Star Is Not Apologizing for Stealing Your Lunch from the Office Fridge
Trent Dribbly is a gale-force wind of fresh air with his unapologetic attitude about stealing leftover food from coworkers.
Where to Direct Your HR Issues at Our HR-Less Company
Work Anniversaries: See your manager for a token of our appreciation—a homemade coupon for one (1) weak handshake.
My Work Day, as Envisioned by the Billionaire CEO
Like our CEO wrote in his “Daily Wake-Up” email, all of our cubicles can be temples of productivity.
Would You Rather? Return to Office Edition
Would you rather spend 25% of your paycheck on Everlane’s "Sims 2 Fall/Winter ‘23 collection” or trompe l'oeil mascara onto your face with a free Zoom filter?
Why I, a 1960s Business Man Having an Affair, Believe Everyone Needs to Return to Office
Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.
Your Monthly Productivity Review
Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.
My Day as an Intern, as Imagined by My Exceedingly Optimistic Parents
12:30 PM, reads the Faberge Egg clock the CFO gifted me for having such a good PSAT score.
Signs That the Company You Work for Has Been Acquired by a Billionaire
In order to save space, your cubicle has been converted into two pyramidicles.
To Determine If You’re the Right Fit for This Job, We’d Like You to Do This Job
We definitely have already done a full marketing strategy, but we want you to complete one too, so that we can compare yours to ours.