It’s Time to Rethink Our Rubber Chickens
Our rubber chickens—and indeed our entire portfolio of goofs and gags—have lost their context. Dare I say, they are no longer funny.
Tag: Office
Cancel Culture Is This Jar of Pickles I Can’t Open
Cancel culture is holding back the next Great American Novel, groundbreaking works of political theory, and my Wednesday afternoon lunch.
Dear Colleagues: I Think There’s a Kid Loose in the Office
I know one of you grown adults would never leave exploded beef stroganoff all over the microwave.
Famous Authors Firing You from Your Job
Ernest Hemingway For Hire: Competent Shoes, Never Filled
Auto Reply: OUT OF OFFICE: For the Rest of Eternity
I can’t and I can’t even. Whatever phrase works best for you to understand that I can’t help you.
My Sports Analogies Are Much More Sophisticated than You Think, You Losers
Allison in HR gave me the full-court press and explained that some of you think my sports analogies are creating a toxic workplace.
Would You Like to Make a Charitable Donation to Our Payroll Fund?
Here in Human Resources, we are consistently e-applauding each and every one of our hard-working, self-sacrificing rockstars.
January’s Poor Performance Will No Longer Be Tolerated
The Ethics Committee has taken notice of how January has benefitted from gym memberships, weight loss medications, and black-eyed peas sales for decades.
Your Slack Wrapped 2021 Is Here!
You spent 49 hours listening to our ear-piercing message alert sound…
I Traded in My Standing Desk for a Careening-Around-A-Corner Desk and My Productivity Has Soared!
It was fantastic! In the first week, I knocked over the office water cooler 36 times!
As Your Boss, This Month’s Employee Newsletter Is Dedicated to My Three-Week Vacation in Italy
While I'm technically "the boss," I don't want that detail to deter you from asking me lots of questions about my rejuvenating three-week sojourn.
FAQ About the Hell Button I Had Installed in the Elevator
Q. Should I worry about the fact that people keep disappearing after using the elevator? A. I wouldn't.