Open Letters | Page 10 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

2020 was one of the most exciting years in hornet history, as we continued our westward expansion into North America.

Compared to 2020’s real-life plague, threat of fascist coup, and so on, your work has suffered from a lack of terrifying imagination.

These last ten months of social distancing, mask-wearing, and air-hugging have to have been especially tough on extroverts.

Every Chanukah for the past seven years she kept telling you she doesn't want you to buy her anything, with “BUY” and “THING” in air quotes.

Does this mean Santa's Workshop will close? Santa's Workshop will live on as a digital storefront competing with hundreds of counterfeiters.

You and I both know what I’ve been up to, and it isn’t putting me on anyone’s good list.

I know it’s cold and you warm-blooded, furless, pansies are sensitive, but is it too much to ask for someone to say, “I’m SO excited for Winter!”

Satan simply would not take no for an answer—which means that this year, our mall will feature Satan’s Village.

If I could point a finger, I would blame Microsoft. There’s no amount of Christmas magic that could help me understand Microsoft Outlook.

I’m disappointed that after our four-message exchange about how our weekends went, you haven’t proposed. It’s been almost a year, after all.

I hope this level of detail gives you a clear understanding of the lengths that many of us would go to avoid any more forced, holiday-themed fun.

I do not plan on blowing away before the next Thanksgiving. I am not merely a summer fling or a one-night affair.