Open Letters | Page 11 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

I was going to be the highlight of “WAP,” which I assumed stood for something like "warm and pleasant," as it's a perfect description of me.

Don’t worry, I’ve left them with enough food to last several weeks, which in this case is a bottle cap of water and a couple of croutons.

Did you know a stroke of lightning lasts roughly 30 microseconds? DID YOU?! What if I hadn’t hit the cable at the right microsecond, Doc?

I would like the board to be aware and consider the fact that my house is a piece of garbage and I am rotting inside of it.

You make me better. You make me ask the tough questions, like do I have rabies, and is the baby giraffe at the zoo mad at me?

We know that you usually visit for 3-5 days, but the safest option is for everyone to stay for the suggested quarantine period of at least two weeks.

For starters, many of you have been attending parties. We told you not to do that! We thought you’d listen to us.

Do you want to use the Julian calendar? Because I can make that happen tomorrow. Whenever tomorrow is on that mess.

My role is basically the same as that of a principal except I don’t know how to run a school and I own 15% of its graduates’ earnings in perpetuity.

When my starter told me it needed a guitar for its new band, a “Wilco meets Steely Dan” vibe, I knew things were about to take a turn for the worse.

"We are an open democracy and welcome 180-degree feedback circle." This is a weak start; we need a strong first point that will set the tone.

In hindsight, you probably should have spent more time tilling the ground than posting seductive selfies in your gardening hat, but that's okay.