Open Letters | Page 21 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

What is it that makes your group so intractable, yet everybody wants to talk about you? Why is it so hard to figure out how old you people are?

All I ever wanted was to be the fourth son of Mike Brady on that killer 1970's TV show, The Brady Bunch. Instead, my life veered off course.

It is with heavy heart that I, Robby Schwartz, wish to announce that I am no longer a punk rocker. I am now a skater; please accept my decision.

The Next Great American Novel won’t be written by a 27-year-old with clear braces and a Deathly Hallows tattoo.

No matter how nicely he asks, Vincent the Vagrant is NOT permitted to bunk with you in your hotel room. He is only looking for loose dice.

Regarding your autobiography, "The Real Mr. T: I Pity the Fool Who Wears Gold-Plated," this was a hard one for us, but regrettably, we have to pass.

Remember, confusion is at the heart of everything we do here - we call it the Confusion Paradigm©. Without it, we are nothing.

Not only might this backpack contain documents related to the fake Russia investigation, but it also has sentimental value.

I saw your Craigslist ad about needing a date to your office holiday party. Here's more about me and why you should take me as your plus one!

Sue grew into her breasts last year and is now popular with the boys, but she is self-identifying as Asian which is also confusing the boys.

I realize that ruining the sacred post-blockbuster cinema space with comments on the beauty of the most beautiful man in the galaxy was wrong.

Here's an incredible statistic: if 100% of people at the brunch paid me back right now, you would never have to hear from me again.