An Open Letter to the Dead Girl
Yeah, you—the girl whose picture is plastered all over my yearbook. Just because you’re dead. What makes you think you're so special?
Tag: Open Letters
An Open and Disconnected Letter from Mark Otherberg
Hello. You may not know me, but I'm a concerned online citizen just like you. Ok fine it’s me, Tom, from MySpace!
An Open Letter to the Guy at Work Who Thinks We’re Friends
When I first met you, you seemed like a normal guy. After 3 weeks, I now know that you may very well be the annoying child of Satan.
Daft Thunk: An Open Letter to Anonymous
Dear Anon, I appreciate your elaborate attempts to comment under multiple personalities in order to drive home your point. Unfortunately, you suck.
An Open Letter to All Survivors
Attention all people who have been on or are going to be on the reality TV show Survivor: pay close attention to this article because it may just win you a million dollars someday. Or at the very least, stop you from looking like a total idiot on national
Open Letters to the Headlines of Articles I Don’t Have Time to Read
Dear Brett Favre: You are a drama queen. Eat a bag of shit. Dear Miss California USA Carrie Prejean: There's nothing wrong with posing topless.
Open Letters to Shorty Shorts Man and Fancy Gym Guy
If by some miracle I got the chance to talk to Shorty Shorts Man or Fancy Gym Guy, here is exactly what I would say.
An Open Letter from God
Dear Humans, If you wouldn’t mind, could you please do me one favor: Stop yelling my name during sex. At first it was kind of flattering, but now it’s just ridiculous, and completely distracting.
Dear Anonymous
<p>I'm not mad that you tell me I am a terrible writer who needs to proof read his shit. If there is one thing we can both agree on is that I am a bad person who makes terrible decisions, and most of the decisions effect the way I write.
An Open Letter to Dane Cook
Mr. Cook, I can no longer sit back while your egregious blunders defame the good name of those around you. Especially the illustrious Dennis Rodman.
An Open Letter to That One Congress Dude
<p>Dear My Congressman:</p><p>Hello, Mr. (or maybe Mrs.) Congressman. My name is Nathan. And I live in your district. I'm sorry I don't know you by name but the thing is, just looking at you people gives me the willies something fierce so I never bothered to look you up. Y'all are like personal injury lawyers but with less scruples and no souls. Except for Ron Paul.</p>
I’m Sorry I Shanked You
I’m sorry for stabbing you in that gruesome prison yard bloodbath, and I’m going to learn and grow from this experience. Please accept this letter of apology.