Open Letters | Page 6 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

I would also like to offer to pay for the damages to the building from when I ripped a meat hook out of the ceiling and swung it around my head.

Are you embarrassed that I called you out, and now suffer from some sort of movie monster performance anxiety?

My hours are long, there’s no clock, and my wages are… well it’s just the pellets, isn’t it?

Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.

From what Eric told me before his cell phone cut out, these bottles are entirely worth the extra eight months of R&D.

This new hire, a human-in-training or “cute smushy baby," has been rude, selfish, and has made zero meaningful contributions to the company.

Subsidies of children in wells: Kids aren’t placing themselves in imminent danger far from the attention of their parents/guardians anymore.

We appreciate you're probably busy. And trust us, we're normally never this needy in ransoms.

I’ve workshopped names like Gale Force, Itsa Scorcher, Summer Day, or if you just want to throw all subtlety out the window, Cloud Precipitation.

Little did I know then that I would soon join the ranks of those with no hope of escaping or being opened even in the slightest manner.

It's a dog park, not Jurassic Park. Find somewhere else for your infernal Dogasaurus rex to run amok.

Uranus: It’s a planet, but you don’t have to mention every last one. Say, “Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, Neptune, Mercury, Mars, and so on.”