Open Letters | Page 7 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

I respect the State of California’s 100-yard rule, and I value precision, which is why I bought one hundred yardsticks at Home Depot.

Have you considered making me taller and more visually striking? Might be good for brand recognition.

While you were busy arguing about whether or not I’m still in style, did you ever stop to consider my feelings?

Crying Pods: 70% of employees also reported participating in, during this past year, a daily ritual of “crying my pretty little eyes out.”

Do you know how expensive microchips are? I didn’t become a billionaire by just going around giving away MICROCHIPS all the time!

And what about my heart, my battery? Fifteen years and still going strong. Always keeps its charge.

Just wanted to send a solid “wassup” to our 4,000 new members who joined during the pandemic. Our group is now 4,014 birders strong.

Here is my main concern: What if I wear something really ugly the day I die?

I’ve never needed the Pythagorean Theorem for any moment of my life. I’m a million times better off without you, just like I always thought.

Congrats on your new academic article, though I should really be congratulating myself because the version of your I wrote in my head is much better.

I know that our omni-everything boss is obsessed with blood metaphors, but this seems a bit gratuitous.

I wouldn’t know what to do with multi-book deals and movie rights and reprint rights and the avalanche of capital from being on the bestseller list.