Open Letters | Page 8 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

And what about my heart, my battery? Fifteen years and still going strong. Always keeps its charge.

Just wanted to send a solid “wassup” to our 4,000 new members who joined during the pandemic. Our group is now 4,014 birders strong.

Here is my main concern: What if I wear something really ugly the day I die?

I’ve never needed the Pythagorean Theorem for any moment of my life. I’m a million times better off without you, just like I always thought.

Congrats on your new academic article, though I should really be congratulating myself because the version of your I wrote in my head is much better.

I know that our omni-everything boss is obsessed with blood metaphors, but this seems a bit gratuitous.

I wouldn’t know what to do with multi-book deals and movie rights and reprint rights and the avalanche of capital from being on the bestseller list.

Don't be intimidated, I'm still just like you, only quite a bit better now. You see, I read an entire book during quarantine.

I am a large gorilla. And gorillas are soft, exoskeleton-less, atomic-breath-lacking, nonaquatic, vegetarian mammals.

I am a human from Earth, but please don't hold that against me. I believe that this is an asset, as I have witnessed what not to do with a planet

I scroll through my Venmo feed with fervor, finding out more about your lives from a cash app than I do from the photos you share on Instagram.

You should be begging on your hands and knees for help. Pathetic. And deep down, you’re scared.