Open Letters | Page 8 | Points in Case

Tag: Open Letters

I am a human from Earth, but please don't hold that against me. I believe that this is an asset, as I have witnessed what not to do with a planet

I scroll through my Venmo feed with fervor, finding out more about your lives from a cash app than I do from the photos you share on Instagram.

You should be begging on your hands and knees for help. Pathetic. And deep down, you’re scared.

I lost motivation for my role of being the embodiment of vanity. To put it lightly: remote work has challenged the core values I once held dear.

Yes, I tried replacing the batteries. A fresh set seemed to do nothing except make his tone even angrier.

That man that I saw on the screen—that I had grown up IDOLIZING—was actually just some hack in disguise.

The first time you touched me, it was like you read the instruction manual on how to make my water boil.

Some of you seem to be using this platform for what my psychologist, Dr. Winter, has identified as attention-seeking behavior.

Let me guess, you didn’t want to carry it around with you for the rest of your walk and you planned on picking it up on your way home?

My purple pom-pom has been on the handle and ready to go since March. The places you take me, I would never ever go alone.

Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.

In light of the truly inseparable nature of relationships during this pandemic, I’m introducing Cupid’s Booster Arrows.